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Thank fuck he asked me to put his key in my purse.
I find Dom's car easily in the nearest corner of the adjoining field and pop the trunk. With a sigh, I start rummaging through its contents. In my search, I pull out a backpack, unsure as to where Dom might have shoved my shoes while he was packing up our costumes this morning.
But when I pull down the zipper, I don’t find a pair of shoes inside. Instead, I come across a leather notebook.Mynotebook…one of my old journals. Except it’s not just one. It’sallof them. Every single one.
The faded diaries I poured my heart into for years are sitting in Dom's trunk.My blood runs cold.How the fuck did he get these? And why does he have them?
Excruciating memories suddenly flash through my mind like vicious forks of lighting, and my stomach starts to churn. I’m flooded with all the times I'd written about him, aboutus–the fantasies, the fears, the deepest parts of myself I never intended anyone else to see.
And he's read all of it.
I'm still standing paralyzed, struck dumb with shock when I hear footsteps crunching across the gravel beyond the fence.
“There you are,” Dom’s voice calls out. “I've been looking everywhere for you.”
The casual familiarity in his voice only fuels the rage building inside me. I hold up the journal in my hand, almost shaking with the urge to launch it at his head. “What the fuck is this, Dominic?”
His expression changes instantly, guilt flashing across his features before he schools them into careful neutrality. It's all the confirmation I need.
“How could you?” I demand, my voice cracking on the last word. “Did you steal these from my house?”
Dom reaches for me, but I instantly back away, stumbling on the uneven ground. “Shiloh, listen–”
“Don't touch me!” I explode. “Why did you really come to town, Dom? Why did you stay? Was this all just some sick game to you? To fuck with me?" A steady stream of tears worms its way down my cheeks. He’s betrayed every last drop of trust he’s managed to leech from me since the day he sauntered into that coffee house.
And I can’t fuckingstand himfor it.
24
DOMINIC
“It may have startedout that way,” I answer calmly, resigned to this all coming out right here and now. “I came to town after you called because I wanted to see you suffer up close…You were right before, I was bored.”
Shiloh's eyes widen, her tears not letting up for a second as she processes my words. I watch a parade of emotions play across her features one after the other–disbelief, pain, and finally, the resurgence of that red-hot anger she was shaking with when I found her out here.
The only small mercy I have right now is that she seems too in shock to yell anymore.
“I followed you that night after we met at the coffee house,” I press on, the raw confession feeling like I’m flaying off my own skin. “I heard everything you said about me at The Cauldron…I was…I don’t know. I guess I was furious, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. That night was the first time I broke into your house.”
“The first time…” Shiloh repeats my admission in a broken whisper, and I can almost see the cogs turning in her skull. She no doubt is putting together I was the one moving her thingsaround the entire time, not some lovesick student. She rakes her hands through her hair, mussing the curls she spent forever styling, her sobs coming thick and fast. “I should have known I c-couldn’t trust you. I should’ve known th-that thisnew,kindversion of you was all a lie. What is wrong with you? You sick fuck!” Every word comes out a little more shrill until she’s screaming at me again, clutching her diary to her chest like a shield.
“I know it was wrong, okay? I know that!” Despite my best efforts, I can’t help but raise my own voice, too anxious for her to just calm down and hear me out. “I don’t know what came over me, I was just…I wasobsessed, Shy! I didn’t want to let you out of my sight. Seeing you again after so many years I…I had thiscraving.”
I can only pray she sees the truth of it all in my face. I tear the ridiculous mask off and toss it to the ground, letting her see the honesty I’m trying so desperately to convey in my eyes. “It started out as just wanting to fuck with you, but then I found your diaries from when we were kids and…Fuck,I just wanted to know… I wanted to know if you felt the same way about me that I’ve always felt about you.Always.”
“You want to know how I feel, Dom?” Shiloh spits. “I feelsick.I feel like a complete fucking idiot for letting you get anywhere near me. I let youtouch me.Fuck off back to New York and leave me the hell alone." She tries to storm past me then, her legs wobbling as she maneuvers the damp ground in those thin heels. The finality in her tone is a dagger to my chest, leaving me torn open and bleeding.
I can't let this be the end. I won't.
“No,” I bite out, wrapping my fingers around her bicep and pulling her back to me. “I'm not letting you go, not now.”
Shiloh scoffs, her laugh bitter and cutting as she shoves against my chest with all her strength. “Letting me go? You don'townme, asshole. I’m not yours to keep and I sure as fuck never will be.”
I don’t release my grip on her arm, ignoring how she struggles against me. “Just stop for a minute. I know I fucked up, but I want you in my future, Shy.Please.”
She flinches at the nickname. “Don't call me that,” she hisses. “You've lost that right.”
When she gives my chest another fierce push, I finally let go, unable to let myself keep her trapped–even if it might break me to see her walk away. “Please, just listen–”
