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Her absence would allow TI to demonstrate their commitment to security. Without DS breathing down their necks and threatening their contract, they’d have the time and space to dig deeper and uncover the true culprit. And with her gone, the issue of her missing security token would become moot.
As for her living situation, combining her needs with her mother’s simplified things. One home to find, fewer belongings to replace. It wasn’t ideal, but it was manageable. Even working for minimum wage, Sabrina and Ma’s combined income would be enough to support them if they were splitting living expenses instead of trying to support two households.
Freddy’s face flashed in her mind, his kind eyes filled with hurt and confusion. He wouldn’t understand. How could he? But this was bigger than their friendship, bigger than her feelings for him. This was about the smartest choice, even if it broke her heart in the process. Leaving TI and returning to Nebraska solved everything.
Resolved, Sabrina took a deep breath and logged out of the forum. She shut down her computer, the screen fading to black, mirroring the finality of her decision. Tomorrow, she’d start making arrangements. But for now, she needed rest.
As she crawled into bed, exhaustion finally overtaking her, Sabrina allowed herself one last moment of weakness. A singletear slid down her cheek, a silent goodbye to the life she’d built and the man she’d never told she loved. It would have been nice to finish what they’d started earlier, but she knew one night with Freddy would only make her wish for more. It was better to stop before they even began.
Sabrina woke with the first rays of sunlight, her resolve hardened by a restless night. She dressed quickly, steeling herself for the day ahead. As she heard Freddy puttering around the kitchen, she took a deep breath, reminding herself this was for the best.
“Morning,” Freddy called cheerfully as she walked down the hall.
Sabrina nodded curtly, not trusting herself to speak. She was careful not to accidentally brush against him as she grabbed a mug and poured her coffee.
“You sleep okay?” Freddy looked at her quizzically, and she knew he could tell something was wrong.
“Yeah, I got a good night’s sleep, and am ready to get back to work. We should head up.” She nodded toward the stairs that led to their office.
“Right.” He inspected her the same way he did a command that wasn’t producing the results he wanted, like he knew it would only take the smallest tweak to bust through and change everything.
Sabrina worried he might be right, but if she could avoid touching him and focus on work, it would be okay. She just needed to stay strong until after the joint meeting when she would officially quit–or be fired.
Heading for the stairs, she didn’t notice Freddy step in close behind her until his hand landed on the small of her back. Sabrina flinched and cursed herself for being unprepared. After the way they’d connected the night before, she should have anticipated he’d touch her more casually than usual, not less.And they’d always rubbed shoulders and invaded each other’s space without it being an issue.
“Sabrina, what’s wrong?” Freddy asked, his voice soft with worry. He must have noticed her discomfort.
“Nothing,” she replied tersely. “We should get to work. Lots to do.” Secretly, she was hoping to get way ahead on drafting their supporting documents. It would take them a while to find a replacement for her, and the last thing Sabrina wanted to do was leave Freddy scrambling to keep up with his work.
The second they made it upstairs, Sabrina made a beeline for her computer and buried herself in writing manuals like her fingers were on fire.
Throughout the morning, Freddy made several attempts at small talk, his voice tinged with concern. He inquired about her mom and even cracked a joke about their latest software bug. Sabrina, however, responded with clipped, one-word answers, her eyes never leaving her screen, fingers flying across the keyboard, creating a rapid-fire clicking that she hoped he would take to mean she was too busy to chat.
She couldn’t bring herself to engage in casual conversation, not when her mind was racing with thoughts of her impending departure and the mountain of work she needed to complete before then. The easy banter that usually filled their mornings was gone, and if she played this right, it would never return.
“Did I do something?” Freddy ventured through gritted teeth, after hours of strained work. “Was it last night? Did I push for too much? Whatever it was, ‘Rina, please let me fix it.” The last part was a desperate plea for her to talk to him.
The pain and hurt in his voice, combined with her nickname, clogged her throat. She wanted to soothe his anguish. Freddy was the only person in the world who ever called her ‘Rina, and she’d never hear him say it again after the next few days. She longed to tell him everything, confess how much last nightmeant to her, reveal her desire to spend the rest of her life in his comforting embrace, but she would ruin him. Some pain now or more pain later were her only options, and as selfish as it may be, she wasn’t sure she could survive more pain later. It would be best to blame the night before for her leaving, but the words got stuck behind the knot of emotion in her throat. Despite everything, Freddy was, and always would be, her best friend. Leaving would hurt him enough. She wouldn’t make him feel guilty on top of that. She decided on a compromise–push him away but without laying unnecessary blame at his feet.
“No, Freddy. Last night shouldn’t have happened, but it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just trying to focus on what’s important. We don’t have time to play around,” she said, her voice flat.
She felt his hurt gaze on her but refused to look up. As the day dragged on, Sabrina found herself reaching to offer him a coffee refill, but each time, she pulled back. Several times, Freddy would lean over her shoulder to point something out on her screen, but she always shifted or rolled her chair back to give him space. She knew this distance was necessary. It would make leaving easier–for both of them.
Chapter 19: Freddy
Freddy glanced at Sabrina for the hundredth time that day. Her shoulders hunched over her keyboard, fingers flying across the keys with more force than usual. The air between them crackled with unspoken tension.
He cleared his throat. “Hey, Sabrina. We should make dinner together after work?”
Her typing paused for a split second before resuming. “Not tonight, Freddy. I’ve got stuff I need to do.”
“Oh.” He swallowed hard, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice. “You do have to eat, though, right? Maybe I’ll cook, and you can join me to eat?”
Sabrina’s shoulders tightened. “Look, I’m really busy. Can we just focus on work?”
Freddy’s stomach twisted. This wasn’t like her at all, but then things had changed between them. Maybe she just needed time to process. Usually, he could count on Sabrina to talk through every thought she had aloud, but this could be different. Since it involved him, she might need to work through it quietly. He sighed but committed to letting her work in peace.
As the day wore on, the silence between them grew heavier. Freddy found himself stumbling over his words during their usual back-and-forth about the software updates. Sabrina’s responses were clipped, her usual wit absent.
