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“‘Rina?”
The hesitant vulnerability in Freddy’s voice blasted through her curiosity and wonder. “Yeah, sorry. I’m not sure what to say to that.”
Tossing his controller onto the coffee table, Freddy wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and began pulling at it the way he did when he’d spent too long hunched over his monitor without his glasses on.
This had to be related to family dinner, somehow. “Freddy, what did Patrick say tonight?” she asked.
“The first time. I mean the one time when I kissed someone. Uh. It was prom night. I invited this girl that I liked. I mean likeI like, liked her.” He puffed out a violent exhaled, “Fuck, this is embarrassing.”
“You know I won’t judge, right?” Sabrina checked.
He chuckled, “Yeah, you will. You probably should. Fuck. I was so stupid. I thought we were both kind of interested in each other or whatever, and she agreed to go to prom with me, but then I kissed her in the middle of the dance floor wherever everyone, and I do mean every-fucking-one, could see, except she just thought we were friends. Actually, no. Not even that. She thought we were both gay and using each other as beards, so she shoved me away while wiping her mouth clean and shouting ‘gross’ loud enough for everyone to hear.”
His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.
“What did you do?” Sabrina feared the answer, but she had to know.
Freddy turned to stare back at her as he answered, “I laughed and pointed and said ‘gotcha’ while pretending it was all a big joke.”
“Oh, damn.”
“Yep,” he popped thep.
“And tonight?”
“Patrick told Holly the story.”
“He graduated, like, four years before you, didn’t he?” she checked.
Freddy turned back to face the TV and picked up his controller. “Yeah, but it wasthedefining moment of prom that year, so everyone was talking about it. Some people even shared pics of it. It didn’t take long for it to get back to Patrick, even though he was away at school.”
“Holy shit.”
Shrugging, Freddy bit his lip and made his character climb to the tallest peak before diving off into a bale of hay. “I just played it off like it was a joke. It shouldn’t have been a big deal.”
His blush had faded, but Sabrina felt the weight of their conversation. Did any of his family know how badly that night had messed him up? “And since then?” She forced herself to return to moving her character around.
He shrugged again. “I’m not, like, a virgin or anything. I’ve slept with a few women, but it’s just a thing, and I never really kissed them. I mean, they were never anyone I cared about or anything.”
Should she apologize? She certainly should have asked before pressing her lips to his, but she hadn’t been thinking clearly that morning. It did explain Freddy’s persona with his family and in public, though. But what was she supposed to say?
“My mom still lives in the trailer where my dad died. Like, she still sits in his recliner and never replaced the carpet where there’s a bleach stain from us cleaning up after he…” This was probably not the right choice. Sabrina’s mind slammed on the brakes. It was her turn to flush red now. She could feel the heat of it creeping up her neck and ears.
“How did he die?” Freddy asked.
“Overdose. He choked on his own vomit.” She’d never shared the details with anyone. Well, not since she mentioned it at school one time and had to spend a ridiculous amount of time talking to the school counselor. It was enough to teach her to keep her home life at home.
“That sucks.”
It did. “I found him,” she added. “I mean, my mom was with me, but I was the first to see him.” In for a penny, in for a pound?
“I’ve always wanted to get a cat, but I’m scared it will eat my face in my sleep,” Freddy confessed, making Sabrina laugh.
“I send half my paycheck back to my mom to help cover her bills.” Apparently, tonight was the night for baring their souls.
“That’s why you’re always so tight with your money!” Freddy exclaimed like he’d discovered the meaning of life.
This time it was Sabrina who gave a one-shoulder-shrug. “She always worked two jobs, but she’s getting older.”
