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“Yeah, no, that would be great,” Ian says, but there’s no life to it. He’s smiling, but it’s so fake it’s not in his eyes. There’s no brightness on his face. Can’t his dad see that?
“You know, your mom and I have been talking about finishing the basement, and it’s got the bathroom, which just needs a touch-up really. There’s even a kitchenette in there. We could finish that up for you so you could live at home but not have your mom and dad in your hair. You’d save so muchmoney, which is so great. We’d love to have you at home,” Bill says, totally oblivious.
I sneak a glance at Mac and Jessie, who are hiding their reactions in their beers and having a secret conversation with their eyes. Or maybe they’ve actually cracked how to communicate telepathically. Which wouldn’t surprise me. If anyone could figure it out, it would be them.
“Yeah, that is definitely one of the pros of the job, but, you know?—”
“Would you get to help pick out the shows? How cool would that be? I know you’ve always wanted to doSweeney Todd—maybe you could throw that into the ring as one of the first shows you do. Or does the board choose? I bet they’d take your suggestions, being a veteran of the playhouse and all,” Bill says as if his son didn’t just explain that he isn’t even sure if he’s applying for the job.
“For sure. I love that show,” Ian says, still smiling. He steps away to fix himself another drink, and Bill takes the opportunity to lean over to his buddies and tell them about the job with the kind of certainty that doesn’t reflect the reality.
What the fuck?
Bill’s buddies all come over and clap Ian on the back. One even has the balls to congratulate him. I’m biting my tongue so hard it’s practically bleeding.
“This is great, Ian. I can’t wait to tell your mom when I get home. She’s going to be thrilled,” Bill says as he cracks open a new beer.
“For sure, for sure,” Ian says, and that’s my final straw. I cannot just stand here and watch him take this from his dad. Ian’s probably never stood up to his parents, and I’ve spent my entire life parenting my mom and tolerating the man who donated sperm to my creation. Ian is probably concerned about being respectful. I don’t have any such hang-ups.
“What are you going to be telling her, Bill?” I ask pointedly. “Ian said he wasn’t sure if he wanted the job.”
Beside me, Jessie inhales sharply through her teeth. Without looking, I can feel her tensing, the air around her tightening.
“Oh sure, but he’ll take it. It’s the perfect job for him,” Bill says, not losing a hint of the joviality. He slaps Ian on the shoulder.
“Is it, though? Ian is pretty clearly interested in lighting design, and yes, sure, he would be an amazing tech director, but why should he settle for a job that he ‘could do’ when he could pursue something he’d actually enjoy?”
To his credit, Bill barely bats an eye at me. He doesn’t dismiss me either, like a petulant child. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other—the only sign he’s uncomfortable with me challenging him like this in front of his friends, his son, and his son’s friends. There’s a silence so awkward that I’d bet money at least two people in this tent want to pass out from it. But I’m not uncomfortable, and I’m not backing down.
“I can’t argue with that, Jade, but sometimes we gotta take a job we like over something we love because it’s steady and pays the bills,” Bill says.
“And if Ian wants a steady, safe job, then he’ll take it. But he said so himself, he’s still thinking about it, and when you self-insert, he can’t make that decision for himself?—”
“Jade,” Ian says, laying a hand on my arm. His voice makes it clear he wants me to stop, but I’m in too deep to stop now.
“Ian is incredibly talented and could have his pick of jobs. The world is literally his fucking oyster, but he worships the ground you walk on, Bill. Ian won’t make that decision for himself if you won’t let him.”
“Jade, seriously, stop it,” Ian says, starting to turn to me, but Bill holds his hand out as if to stop him.
“No, you know what? Jade is right,” Bill says.
He isn’t mad. He isn’t red in the face, and he certainly isn’t crying like my mom does when I “tough love” her. But I still tense, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“I didn’t realize it, but that’s exactly what I was doing.” Bill straightens his shoulders. “I was just so excited at the possibility of it all that I just charged ahead. I appreciate you pointing that out to me, Jade. And Ian, I’m sorry.” He puts a hand on Ian’s shoulder and stands close to him. “I don’t want you to feel any pressure from me to take that job. If you want it, we’re going to be so excited, and if you don’t, we’ll be just as excited for you, your mom and I. We want what’s best for you—you know that, right?”
Ian nods and takes a sip of his drink. As for me, you could knock me over with a light breeze right now. I’m not really sure what to do in the face of such a calm, measured reaction. Is that all he’s going to do? I sip my drink just to give myself something to do.
“Thanks, Dad,” Ian says, and Bill pats his shoulder then pulls him into a side hug.
“Just love my boy,” he says, and the splotches on Ian’s neck appear.
Mac and Jessie let out audible sighs of relief.
I’m still trying to process Bill’s reaction when he moves closer to me, putting a hand on my shoulder like he just did with Ian. It’s fatherly and foreign, and I freeze, unsure of what to do with this affection.
“Jade, that took a lot of courage, and I am really grateful you said something. Thank you. It’s clear you care a lot about Ian. He’s really lucky to have you in his life,” he says.
His words and the genuine kindness in his eyes both break something inside me and heal something I didn’t even know needed healing. I swallow the lump in my throat, willing myself not to cry. No adult in my life has ever treated me with suchrespect. I feel like he just parented me, in a way, and a lump forms in my throat, the backs of my eyes stinging with the threat of tears.
