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The smell makes me more irritable, as it just reminds me that little human is elsewhere. “Say what you have to say and be quick about it,” I order Friza.
The orcress looks at me intently, then sighs. “Look, Warchief, when you first introduced this plan to take the human to your bed, none of us said anything. You’ve been through a lot and you are long past-due for a lover.”
“She’s not really my lover. You know that,” I point out. After scenting thoroughly outside the tent, I am sure that we are alone, at least for now. Besides, we are speaking in Orikesh. I feel like I can discuss things a little more openly with my second.
“Really?” Friza replies. “You feel nothing for her? No possessiveness? No Mating Instinct?”
I say nothing in response, waiting for my second to make her point. She continues, “You’ve been alone for so long, with some self-inflicted monkhood, that most of us thought you’d never take another mate again.”
That spurs a response out of me. “If she’s not my lover, she’s certainly not my mate.”
“But why?” asks Friza. “Why can’t she be? She’s kind and brightens the room when she walks in. The rest of our clan likes her well enough.”
“She’s human,” I remind her.
“So?”
“So?” I query, surprised that Friza is making me say this aloud. “Lucy was human, and she was my greatest mistake.”
Friza looks unimpressed with my argument. “Lucy was alot of things, Warchief, including a thief and a liar. Her being human was the least of what she was. Regent Santir is nothing like her. You should know that.”
Do I know that? It’s hard to say. She acts nothing like Lucy, it’s true. But she’s a politician, which means she is skilled at lies and half-truths. Maybe the woman I know is nothing but a mask.
I shake my head. “Humans are too good at smoke and mirrors. There’s no way for me to trust her.”
Friza looks at me in shock. “If you think so little of her, then why did you agree to take her into your bed and follow her plan in the first place?”
I almost growl at my second-in-command at her words. It’s not that I think little of Pellia, it's . . . I don’t know what it is. Aloud I say, “It’s complicated.”
“It’s not complicated,” the orcress insists. “You’re Mating Instinct wakes for her, doesn’t it?”
“It woke for Lucy,” I remind her.
“Godsdamn Lucy! She’s a mistake for which you’ve been paying penance for years! Are you going to be alone forever because of her? Will you allow her to rob you of your future as well as everything else she took?”
I snarl at Friza, but it’s a half-hearted sound. To be honest, her words are making sense. Am I punishing myself for past mistakes by denying myself who I want?
Friza shakes her head again and continues, “It’s not the regent that you can’t trust. You’ve already shown that deep down, you trust her. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have agreed to her plan, a plan that puts your life at risk. How can you say that you trust her with your life and not your heart? She is a good woman, as far as any of us can tell. It’s yourself that you can’t trust; you’ve been focused on your mistakes for so long you’ve forgotten how to trust your own reason. Stop fighting what’s right in front of you before you lose it forever.”
My second makes a sign of respect by placing both her fists over her heart and finishes. “I’ve said all I need to say, Warchief, and must attend to my rounds. But please, consider my words. Imeant them with all the love I have for my chief.”
And with that, she leaves me alone in the tent, my thoughts whirling.
Chapter 12
Pellia
Iwake to an empty tent. The servants have already risen. I’m embarrassed to have slept so long, especially since I wasn’t the one fighting fires and setting up camp all night. Hastily I rise, only to hear a crinkle sound as I do so. Someone has tucked a piece of paper under my pillow. Curious, I pick it up and read:
Go to the woods
No sooner have I seen the message when the paper crumbles to nothing in my hands and is gone. Dustpaper. It’s used to pass clandestine messages and destroys itself once the message is read. There is only one group that I can think of that would send me secret missives.
A shiver runs down my spine. The Cabal is summoning me. But why now?
Quickly, I dress in the clothes I brought with me last night and remove my silk wrap, letting my braids fall free. Hopefully, I haven’t made them wait long. If I’ve annoyed them, it will be hard to get them to take me further into their confidence.
I make my way out of the servant’s tent and toward the treeline. Kingsbury is right next to the Dense Wood, an ancient and eldritch forest where fairies and monsters are rumored to dwell. It’s not the smartest thing I’ve ever done to enter the woods by myself, but I need to obey the message. Hopefully,daylight will afford me some safety.
