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“I never asked to be in charge!” Ellie returned sharply.
“You hid half the map from me,” Bates pointed out.
“That’s because I didn’t trust you yet!”
“Ahh—I see,” he said coldly. “I’m just here because you werethatdesperate for a way out.”
“I was not desperate,” Ellie countered.
“You were tied up with a psychopath chasing after you,” he retorted.
Frustration and anger roiled inside of her, mingling with a colder streak of fear. The horrible tension of it finally burst and spilled out of her.
“You really want to know the truth?” she retorted. “Fine. Of course you weren’t what I wanted! You kicked down a door and pushed me into a corner! You tracked me through the city and told me that what I was trying to do was stupid! You were theabsolute last personI wanted to come out here with!”
Nothing but rushing water answered her.
All of it was true. Ellie recognized that, even as part of her stood back, horrified, at what had just burst from her mouth… but it wasn’tenoughof the truth. There was more, and it was desperately important—if she could just figure out how to pin it down inside of her and speak it into life.
“I’m sorry. I…” She trailed off, struggling. “That’s not what I…”
“I get it,” Bates replied shortly.
“No,” she protested. “You don’t understand…”
“I think that’s kind of the point. Isn’t it?”
Guilt and shame twisted up through the heart of her anger.
“Why did you start this?” she pleaded.
He shrugged. The line of his shoulders was tight and defensive.
“Just wanted to know whether we’re turning around,” he threw back.
Ellie’s fury and dismay rose into a whirlwind.
“You… I… Argggh!” she yelled.
There were no more words for it. All she could do was act.
She snatched the pan from where it hung on the canopy frame.
“Of all the infuriating—” She launched the pan out over the water.
“Hey!” Bates protested as he whirled back to her. “We needed that!”
She tore the coal shovel from the bin
“Self-important, aggravating things—”
The shovel sailed through the air and disappeared into the current with a tiny splash.
Bates’s expression fell, his eyes widening.
“That could be a problem,” he noted uncomfortably.
Ellie’s hand grasped the gray hedgehog-shaped stone on the shelf by the boiler. A distant part of her mind recognized it as Bates’s lucky rock.
