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Adam met her eyes from across the shadows of the veranda, the blue of his irises shaded to cobalt. “It means that only an irresponsible cad would keep kissing you when he hasn’t figured out where all of this is going.”
“You’re not an irresponsible cad,” Ellie pushed back, bewildered.
“I’ve sure as hell been acting like one.”
“Why?” she pressed firmly. “Because you kissed me? You’re not the only one who initiated those encounters, if I might remind you. Does that make me a cad as well?”
“Of course not!” Adam protested.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re…”
“A woman?” she prompted thinly.
“No!” he burst out, and then caught himself. “I mean—you are. But that’s not what I meant!”
“Then what did you mean?” Ellie’s voice was tinged with a hint of exasperation.
Adam’s expression hardened. “You aren’t just… cruising through your life without taking responsibility for things,” he bit out sharply.
Ellie stilled as she took in the stiffness of his form—the tension that infused every line of him.
“Is that what you think you’re doing?” she asked carefully.
“I didn’t think it before!” Adam shot back, throwing out his hand. “But now I’m kissing you in caves, or on boats, or balconies, and completely mortifying your brother—all without having the first goddamned idea how all of this is supposed to turn out. And I’m not sure what the hell else you’re supposed to call that!”
His voice had risen almost to a shout. Ellie held herself carefully still. Something about their conversation felt dangerous, like a vase poised on the very edge of a table.
“Would all of this be easier if I was open to the idea of marriage?”
“No,” Adam retorted shortly, and then hedged, his expression falling into one of helplessness. “Yes? I don’t know, Ellie!” He treaded across the stones of the veranda like a caged lion. “Maybe it would be—but that doesn’t mean it’s what I want! I told you—I like you the way you are. Maybe if you were more open to the idea of marriage, I wouldn’t have already fallen half in love with you!”
Ellie froze for a different reason. A sudden and dizzying warmth swept through her. “Do you really mean that?”
Adam looked over at her in confusion. “Which part?”
“The part about being half in love with me,” she returned with careful patience.
His look burned through the darkness that separated them. “Yeah.”
Ellie closed her eyes as the word washed over her. It felt as though her feet had rooted themselves to the ground—as though nothing in the world could have moved her if she didn’t want it to.
The night air stretched around her, warm and delicate with the sound of softly chirping insects and the fluttering of black-winged birds.
“But I’m not doing a very good job of it, Princess,” Adam continued softly, his tone aching with regret.
Ellie pinned him with a glare as a bolt of sudden fury shot through her. “Says who?”
“Huh?” Adam returned, frowning.
Ellie took a step toward him, closing the distance between them. She pushed a finger against the solid wall of his chest. “Who says you aren’t doing a good job of it? Whose voice are you hearing in your head, telling you that?”
Adam was quiet—but he didn’t flinch back as he gazed down at her through the shadows. “My father,” he admitted.
Ellie’s heart twisted painfully in her chest. She brushed a hand softly over the stubble on his cheek. “Adam, your father disowned you.”
“I’m aware,” he returned with a wry twist of his lips.
