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Her thoughts flew back to the grim determination in Adam’s expression when he had ordered them to leave, then turned to face Julian’s thugs. He had known perfectly well what he was walking into and had done it anyway, throwing himself into the fire to give the rest of them a chance at escape. It had been a desperate, noble, and infuriatingly self-sacrificing move—just like the one he’d very nearly made when he prepared to toss himself into the path of Jacob’s bullet.
Ellie wasn’t certain whether she wanted to slap him for that or kiss him until they fell over.
Every time she closed her eyes, her mind burned with the image of Adam lying helpless on the ground with Jacobs’ rifle pointed at his chest.
“That isn’t fair,” she bit back, fear sharpening her tone. “I don’t get to order you to safety when I’m afraid of losing you. You can’t ask the same thing of me.”
“Maybe you could,” Adam countered, “if we were up against translating an ancient manuscript before someone drops a rock on us. Or if saving our necks depends on recognizing whether a piece of pottery is Hittite or Phoenician. But if it’s down to a knife fight, that’s on me.”
Ellie felt a quick burst of fury. “And would you honestly do it? Would you really just walk away if I had to stop an avalanche with a manuscript translation?”
Adam went quiet. His gaze burned into her as though he could capture her that way and keep her safe inside of himself forever.
“No,” he said finally. “Can’t say that I would.”
Something inside her seemed to crack, and both the fear and the fury shivered away, leaving in their place only an aching sense of vulnerability and a wash of desperate relief. She had come so close to losing him that night, but now he was here beside her. Filthy, battered, and wearing three-day-old socks—buthere.
She raised her hand to his face. He had collected a few new bruises. Stubble gilded his cheek. Understanding warred with worry in his eyes as he looked down at her.
“There is an obvious solution to this problem, you know,” she pointed out, lightening her tone.
“And what’s that?”
“You could teach me to fight with knives.”
“Not a chance in hell,” Adam replied easily.
“Why not?” Ellie protested. “Constance does it!”
“Never said I thought that was a good idea, either.”
Ellie narrowed her eyes at him. “We’ll continue this conversation later.”
“Pretty sure we will,” Adam agreed easily.
His arm slipped around her back, a band of warmth she could feel through the battered fabric of her waistcoat. His chin came down to rest against her hair, and he breathed in her scent. His grip on her tightened as his chest shuddered with some deep emotion.
“What about Jacobs?” Ellie asked quietly, her cheek resting against the solid heat of his shoulder. “Do you really think we’re meant to…helphim somehow?”
“That’s kind of a hard sell,” Adam countered with a frown.
“But he must have seensomethingto that effect,” Ellie pushed back. “He very clearly would have preferred to do away with us, and he had ample opportunity to do so. I can’t imagine he would have held back from that and opened himself up to so much trouble on a whim.”
“‘It couldn’t possibly be,’” Adam recited.
Ellie glanced up at him. His expression was quietly thoughtful.
“That’s what he said after he got a face-full of that smoke,” Adam elaborated. “And it was just that—maybe a puff of the stuff. I can barely remember what it felt like myself. There was this sense of something old and twisted asking me what I wanted, and then knowing that if I threw my arm up at just the right angle, I’d find what I needed.”
“I was…toldthat greater desires required greater sacrifices,” Ellie offered carefully.
Adam didn’t ask her who—or what—had told her. She found herself a little grateful for that. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him. She had alluded here and there to some of what had passed for her during her time in the mirror, and she supposed that she would share all of it with him eventually. Adam would never judge her for it, no matter how bizarre and un-scholarly it all sounded.
“There was only a drop or two of blood,” Adam mused thoughtfully. “Maybe all he saw were a few hints of how he could get whatever justice he thinks he wants.”
“And one of them involved… us,” Ellie filled in uneasily.
Adam’s mouth quirked into an uncomfortable smile. “Not sure whether that’s a relief or something to be even more nervous about.”
