AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yours, too. And before I lose my nerve, I need to tell you something.”
Alarm bells ring out in my head. “What?”
He blows out a breath. “I’m, uh…going through some things with my dad, with your dad. It’s all getting overwhelming and complicated, and I think it’s probably for the best if we cut this off before we get too serious. Maybe we can revisit after the season. My contract will be up, and I’ll be potentially facing free agency. If I go somewhere else, even better. But I can’t keep doing this behind your dad’s back. It’s wrong even though it’s so goddamn right.”
He's babbling, but even if he wasn’t, I’m not sure exactly what I’d say.
I felt it coming, but it still takes me by surprise. It’s still a blow.
It still breaks my heart.
I’m silent as I look up at the ceiling to try to ward off the tears, and my chest feels like it’s cracking in half.
“Say something,” he whispers.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Say we can try again when the time is right.” His tone is desperate, and I wish I could promise that, but I can’t. I can’t wait around forever until he decides to be strong enough to take me on.
“I can’t guarantee that,” I say flatly.
He blows out a breath, and an awkward silence falls over the line.
“I get it. You shouldn’t wait around for me. You’re amazing, Des, and I want you to have everything you deserve.”
But what if what I deserve isyou?
I want to ask the question, but I don’t. I can’t—not when it leaves me open to the vulnerability of his answer.
“Thanks,” I mutter instead. “I need to go. Good luck tomorrow.”
I cut the call before he can respond, and then I cry myself to sleep.
Chapter 39: Asher Nash
When the Right Thing Feels So Wrong
I play like shit.
Ifeellike shit.
I almost call in sick ahead of the game, but I don’t. I can’t. I’ve never missed a game due to illness or anything other than suspension, and I’m not about to start now.
We lose against the Bills, and while it’s always a team effort, I can’t deny I had a fairly big part in the loss. A pass that should’ve been an easy catch for me was intercepted for a pick-six, and we lost by one touchdown.
Instead of heading back to Gray’s place after the game, I head back to the house I share with my dad. I’m not sure why other than the fact that I don’t feel like being around a happy couple who’s very much in love, and my brother and Ava are disgustingly happy.
I’ve never felt so alone.
I know I’ll catch shit from my dad for the pick-six, but it’s better than watching Grayson make out with his wife.
When I walk into the house, my dad isn’t around. I feel a sense of relief as I head toward the pantry and grab a bottle of tequila.
And that’s when he saunters in. “Hitting the hard stuff after a game? I guess I won’t bring up the mistakes tonight.”
“That’d be much appreciated,” I say dryly, and he chuckles.
“What’s going on, son?” he asks, clapping me on the shoulder as I tip the bottle to my lips.
