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And as I step onto the plane that’ll take me to Los Angeles before I board another one that’ll travel seventeen hours toward Sydney, excitement steps in the place of whatever feelings I had after the charity ball.
Yeah…this is definitely the life for me.
Chapter 15: Asher Nash
Dialed In and Shutting Out
Lincoln wasn’t wrong about hydration, though as a desert dweller now, I fared just fine in the Outback. And I learned that it wasn’t the crocs that you have to watch out for as much as the snakes and spiders.
I made it back to the States without any Australian venom in my system—unless you count the Australian rum I consumed in rather copious amounts during my stay.
I also ate a fuck ton of Tim Tams, a delightful little treat, and went to the zoo where I had an encounter with a koala.
What I didn’t do, however, was fuck my way through the country. In fact, I kept it entirely in my pants, and now that I’m back in Vegas and solidly centered in training camp, I haven’t had sex since the night of the charity ball.
I’ve tugged myself to release plenty of times, but my fist is no replacement for the warm, soft, tight heaven of a woman’s cunt. Specifically one with red hair, a gorgeous body, and the ability to call me out and make me laugh at the same time.
It’s been a month and a half at this point. A sensible man might’ve moved on. Hell, anormalperson should have moved on by now.
I’ve never been known for my sense or my normalcy.
I keep thinking that once the season starts, maybe I’ll see her again. I keep holding out for that.
And also…I can’t seem to find a woman who compares to her.
I met plenty of gorgeous women on my trip. I talked to some, even got as far as making out with one…but nothing more than that.
I couldn’t seem to find my mojo. I just wasn’t interested.
It’s like this mystery woman showed up, stole a piece of me, and left with it. It sounds fucking ridiculous, doesn’t it? That shit can’t happen after one night. It can’t.
And yet somehow, it did.
I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore. I thought I’d learn the answers in another country, but as it turns out, as incredible as my month there was…everything was exactly the same when I returned home, including my living situation. I rolled immediately from traveling into a new season, and where I lay my head at night is by far the least of my worries.
I didn’t intend to run away from anything while I was gone, but that was essentially the effect of what I did. It didn’t change anything, though.
And now we’re in the middle of the second week of training camp at a vineyard in California, per the Vegas Aces tradition, and I’m throwing all my energy into leaving every other piece of me out on the field.
I’m proving I’m the best tight end to start this season, and I know I’m blowing all the other choices completely out of the water.
Even Austin Graham acknowledges it one night after a particularly grueling installation earlier in the day. “How’d you learn that play so quick?” he asks.
I roll my shoulders, which has the effect of looking like a shrug even though it’s just from soreness. “I’m dialed in, I guess.”
“Rub some of that shit off on the rest of us,” he teases, and I offer a tight-lipped smile in return.
I think the truth is that nobody here would want the real reason I’m so dialed in.
It’s my way of shutting everything else out.
But even though I’m focused and tearing it up at camp, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. It simply means I’m putting it on hold until a later date. But it’ll still be there when I return…like it was when I got back from Australia.
Enough time has gone by that I can chalk it up to having been a dream.
Still, even if itwasjust a dream, I know what I want now, and I won’t stop at anything short of what I want—what I deserve.
And I deserve a woman with long, red hair and green eyes that latch onto a piece of my soul.
