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“I know…I just, uh—”
They both look at me expectantly, and the longer the pause is drawn out, the longer I fight with myself over what to say next, the more they start piecing it together.
“Wait a minute,” my mom says, narrowing her eyes at me. “You didn’t have a drink when we went to dinner after the Storm game. You said you had a stomach bug…”
I glance over at her with guilt in my eyes.
“Oh my God,” she murmurs, her hands moving to her mouth.
“What? What’s going on?” my dad asks, and I’m reminded of the keys he can’t find when they’re right there in his hand.
“Are you?” my mom asks.
“Is she what?” my dad asks.
I close my eyes and nod my head. “Yes,” I whisper.
My mom screams. Legit. She screams.
“What the hell is going on?” my dad asks, still clueless.
“She’s having a baby, Bill,” my mom says, and she rushes toward me to hug me.
“She’s having awhat?” my dad thunders, but my mom ignores him as she squeezes me.
“How are you feeling? Are you okay? When is she coming? Who’s the—”
“Mom!” I interrupt before she gets that last question out. I draw in a breath as I pull out of our hug and hold my mom at arm’s length. “I’m ten weeks and due in July. I feel mostly good, but it’s true I thought I had a stomach bug when this all started. And I’m not quite ready to answer any more questions. I wasn’t planning to tell you yet. It’s still so early.”
“Oh, I’m going to be a grandma!” my mom squeals, and I’m happy she’s so excited. It makesmefeel excited, too.
On the other hand, my dad sounds pretty damn angry.
“Who is the father?” my dad asks thickly. “Who did this to you?”
“Nobodydid thisto me, Dad,” I say quietly.
“Then why won’t you tell us who it is?”
I draw in a breath. “It’s complicated.”
“Screw complicated, he got you pregnant and isn’t even around. I’ll find out who it is, and he will pay for leaving you,” he hisses.
“Dad, that’s not what happened,” I say, my tone full of desperation. “It’s not like he ditched me. We’re taking things slow, that’s all.” I need to protect Asher. I’m so scared he’s going to run again, and if I tell my dad without giving him a warning, that’ll be his out. I wouldn’t blame him for taking it.
I need to get over this fear. He promised me he wasn’t going to leave again, especially not now that I’m pregnant, but trying to move on from him was harder than I expected it to be.
Maybe because I was carrying a part of him all along that I didn’t even know about until three weeks ago.
I can’t go through it again.
“Having a baby with another person is not taking things slow,” he says, his jaw clenched.
“I realize that, but like I said…it’s complicated. Can we just enjoy the rest of our day celebrating Christmas together for the last time as a family of three?” I’ve been thinking about it all day. Next Christmas, if all goes well, I’ll have a five-month-old. And Asher…will he still be in the picture?
I can’t imagine not having him by my side a year from now, but we have a whole hell of a lot to get through before we get to that point.
Admitting the truth. Having a baby. Who knows what else is in the cards for us?
