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“Yes, you.” Charles sways right along with me, even though his arms are empty. “Look at him, so safe and sound with you. So secure. Cared for by someone who isn’t me or Hugo. Running right for you, and me not feeling bad about that, because here’s the thing.”
I was wrong about him being fierce before. This is the real deal.
“Icannotkeep trying to pour for three little people from an empty vessel. None of us can, can we, Hayden? Keep pouring out everything we’ve got, I mean. We have to refill that vessel, even if it means letting other people rock our babies.”
I can’t help picturing my sisters.
Who the fuck knows why I’m defensive.
“I don’t have any babies.”
Charles doesn’t argue. He simply comes to a decision. “I’m going to ask for more help. Call in some babysitting favours. Rally the troops so I can take Hugo out and show him a bloody good time, and do you know what else?” Here’s a smile that looks so much better on him. “I’m going to get my empty vessel well and truly filled up.” He nods like that’s a done deal. “Right, that’s my weekend sorted. Now tell me what fun you have planned.”
“This weekend? Making hay while the last of the sun shines.” Or baling more straw, to be more accurate. “And harvesting potatoes, depending if anyone needs a hand with that yet.”
“You’ll still have your nights free, won’t you?”
He can’t have ever worked in fields against a clock ticking down to winter. I settle for teasing. “It’s like you never wondered why tractors have headlights. The bigger farms even set up floodlights.” I can’t say I’m a fan of the flashbacks to nighttime practices at the academy those lights give me.
I must frown.
Charles does too, if only for a moment. His next optimism shines as brightly as this late September sunshine. “I’m sure you’ll think of how to fit in some fun like me.” He holds his hands out for Adam. “Let someone else rock your babies, Hayden. Prioritise filling?—”
“My empty vessel?”
I’m kidding, but I watch Rae, who is busy helping kids make their mark here, and I don’t know how or when, but he’s left a mark on me—tagged me with more than his name and didn’t need leaves or a can of spray paint to do it.
Charles pats my shoulder on the way past to join the children. “Just don’t forget to make some hay of your own, or it will be winter before you know it, and…” He tilts his head towards Rae.
He’ll be long gone.
“Make hay, Hayden,” Charles repeats.
And me?
I watch Rae spread out leaves in lines that flow across the clearing, a stream that forks the same way the river running through these woods does.
A shaft of light lands on him at the same time as a bolt of lightning hits me, which is exactly how I imagined inspiration would strike him.
I’m lit up with an idea of how to make more than some hay with Rae.
Waiting to tell him until the kids have finished splashing this space with colour is murder.Torture. Finally, the chimes of the school bell faintly echo.
The children leave, along with Charles, and Rae and I are back where I last kissed him.
A willow curtain closes behind us, and Rae’s arms are around me only seconds later.
“Wait.”
He blinks at that order, and part of me wishes he could see himself like this, smiling while strafed with emerald. The rest of me gets his romantic shit together.
“Listen. You know I’m working all weekend, right?”
He nods.
“I could take a few hours off later on Sunday afternoon to take you somewhere.”
I rub the back of my neck, clamping my hand there to stop its tremble at the thought of turning down cash. That wasn’t ever my long-term plan. Neither was getting attached to someone, even if they’re a short-term addition to Glynn Harber. It’s worth it when I tell Rae what came to me after I watched him make rivers of leaves with the children.
