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“She slaughtered my daughters. All three of them,” he croaked. “And not quickly.”
I dropped my head on his chest, crying for the pain he suffered—and all the while I never knew. No one knew.
“How could she do that? What kind of wretched monster was she!”
“A monster.” A warm hand cupped the back of my head. “That’s what I became when she killed my children. Something different. Something broken. Something new.”
“You’re not,” I said firmly. “I see the good in you. Your people see it too. That’s why for all Meallan’s whining and feet-stamping, the only ruler your people would ever choose is you. At the end of the day, we know the difference between those who would kill us, and those who kill for us. It’s the difference between a monster... and a protector.”
“My protection hasn’t amounted to much, Ana. It wasn’t even the goal I carried in my heart when I”—the words stole off his tongue, taken by an unforgiving curse—“and met her on the battlefield that final day.
“I wasn’t avenging the pain she caused Elva. I only cared about the pain she caused my children. I struck her down on the altar of my hatred and revenge,” he said, “and I was stupid enough to believe that was the end.”
“The beast curse.”
“Yes.” Alisdair gently stroke my hair, soothing me though it was me who should’ve been comforting him. “For centuries, I wasted away here, trapped in the ice with my regrets until—”
“Raelina came.”
I didn’t have to see him nod to know he did. “One day she was just there. I couldn’t believe it. It was impossible but... she was there.”
“Constance’s death freed her from the prison.”
“She wandered for years,” he went on. “Lost, confused, and unaware of the past until she came to Lumenfell and the change took her—freeing her soul and mind from Constance’s bindings. From then on, it was like we were given a second chance. We were together and we were happy, until she left with Salman.”
“She didn’t want to,” I cried, snapping up. “Meallan told me. He and his father addled her mind and made her believe she was in love with that snake. It was because of them that she left you.”
“I know,” he said, stroking my cheek. “Foalan told me everything the night of his failed assassination attempt. It was because of the shame and disgust written on his face that I spared him. He hated his father and brother as much as I.”
“What happened?” I asked. “Did you go after her?”
“You know our story, Ana. When she came to me singing his praises and speaking of love, I sensed something was wrong and forbade her from leaving with him, so she escaped with him in the middle of the night. She knew me,” he said. “She knew how to evade my nose and my magic. By the time I tracked her down, she was dead and Salman was marrying his new wife.”
I shook my head, my saliva turning to poison on my tongue. “No wonder you hated him.”
“There isn’t a soul alive that knows King Salman and doesn’t hate him. He inspires nothing but revulsion in even the purest souls.”
No truer words had ever been spoken. “But if you knew Meallan was behind what happened to Raelina, why is he still walking around with a throat?”
Alisdair snorted. “Because I’m a fool. Two hundred years ago, I swore a binding oath to the alpha of the time that I would not cross their territory, or lay a finger on his wolves unless it was in self-defense.”
“You what? Why would you agree to that?”
“Because he offered to do something even I couldn’t do.” He met my eyes. “Ana, the wolves protect us—everyone—from the Taken. Haven’t you ever wondered why they lurk outside in the shadows instead of swarming our townships and villages?”
My jaw worked. “I guess I never truly thought about it but... yes. They’re so savage. It didn’t make sense that they attackedtravelers on the road, but stay out of the villages.” I fixed on him. “The whole time the wolves were the reason?”
He tipped his head. “They’ve never been able to live side by side with us. Their instincts wouldn’t allow it. They wanted their own territory—autonomous of Lumenfell and our laws. So we came to an accord. In exchange for keeping my people safe, Domhan wanted the same. For them to be safe from me.
“I agreed because he was a good man. He still wore clothes and ate at a table. He wanted his own piece of Lumenfell, not all of it. His terms were equal and fair, and my people were safe. There wasn’t a reason to refuse.” He scoffed. “I didn’t imagine we’d be where we are now. I didn’t know I’d just sworn the oath that would leave Raelina unavenged.
“When that truth humbled me, I’m the one who became mad and obsessed with revenge. I plotted to ruin the only person left that I could”—his stroking finger traced my lips—“and it brought me you.”
“Why now?” I whispered. “Why tell me all of this now?”
“Because you’ve asked so little of me while I’ve asked everything of you,” he said, surprising me. No matter how many times he did, it still shocked me when Alisdair gave me the sincere truth. “All you’ve wanted was to know the true me. Well, this is it, Ana. This tale—my past—it’s all there is, and all I’ll ever be.”
“That’s not true.” I cupped his face in turn. “You are so much more than what she’s done to you. Every other king in Elva built their throne on the weapons of oppression she handed them. You’re the only one...” I gazed at him with true clarity. “You’re the one who won’t rest until you’ve given back what she stole, and rebuilt what she ruined.
