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“Whoa.” A hand snatched and pulled me back. “Not again. You really must watch where you’re going, my queen.” Meallan spun me around, grinning into my eyes. “It’s dangerous in these woods.”
“I’ve done it,” I blurted. “Alisdair’s done, but maybe not for good. And now that you have your scent on me.” I flicked to the grip on my wrist. “He’ll be after you too. We need to leave now.”
Meallan’s smile morphed in an instant. “Not for good? What are you talking about? We talked about this last night when you blundered into my territory, weeping and wailing for yourdoomed love. You were supposed to kill him,” he gritted. “Only then would I help you get back to your kingdom.”
“I poisoned him and threw him off a cliff,” I snapped. “That’s enough killing for anyone else, but I can’t be sure with him. He only got traces of the poison in his system. I don’t know if it was enough to—”
“ARGGGH!”
The roar ripped through Lumenfell and punched me in the gut, cannoning bile into my throat. There was only one person that could be.
Meallan swore foully. “This is the path we walk now. The good news is any amount of that flower within him will dampen his strength, senses, and magic. We can still get you away, but we have to go now.”
“Let’s go.”
“This way.”
We hurried through the brush—not pausing to cover our scent or worry about noise. We had one focus and one focus only—getting away.
I scurried behind him in silence, staying close enough that I could follow his tall, fur-covered outline in the dark. Meya help me, it was so dark. This never-ending night was a scourge on this beautiful land, and the kind, caring people living within it.
No one but me would ever know how much I came to love Lumenfell, or its people. Walking the square with Eadaoin. Chatting with villagers about their plants, flowers, and crops. Being fussed over by Aeris. Watching Bradach woo Aeris, and watching Aeris pretend she didn’t love it. Studying runes with Alisdair. Holding court with Alisdair. Practicing archery with Alisdair. Tumbling Alisdair. Alisdair, Alisdair, Alisdair.
Wind and Wild had taken a piece of my heart while I was looking. Alisdair had taken a piece of my heart while I wasn’t, but he didn’t want it. He didn’t want a queen, he wanted a war, acoup, and a throne. All things that Emiana gave him, but me... I had nothing for him, and he wanted exactly that.
Nothing.
“What has happened?”
I jumped at the sudden voice penetrating my thoughts. “What? What do you mean?”
“You’re crying,” Meallan stated.
My hand flew to my cheek, confirming the truth.
“Why? Have you lost your nerve?”
“That’s a pointless question,” I replied, voice dull. “Nerve or no, I have to do this. I have to leave.”
“You fell in love with him, didn’t you.” It sounded like a question, but it wasn’t.
“I didn’t, but—” A twig snapped, drawing my eye to the right. I swept the gloom but saw nothing. “But I could’ve,” I continued. “If I’d been given the chance.”
“Hmm.”
We lapsed into silence, traveling deeper into the dark wood. I knew Meallan was right in front of me. I reached out every other minute and touched his back to be sure of it, but I could barely see him and he was directly in front of me.
“Maybe we should stop and look for some starflowers. Something to light our way.”
“We do not need them. I am a wolf. My vision is excellent,” he replied. “My people were made for this land.”
We lapsed into another silence. I didn’t know the conversations Meallan was having in his head to fill the quiet, but the conversations in mine were loud and circular—bringing me further down the moral spiral of what I’d done— No.
What Emiana had done.
It was me who ran crying from the tower, but her who carried our feet to the starflower meadow where we hid the rest of the stolen purple flower. It was her who made a deal with Meallanto get us out of here, in exchange for killing Alisdair, and settling whatever long-standing feud existed between them.
It was her who did it all, and then she disappeared from my head as I entered the stables, leaving me to decide whether to go on as I was, or go through with her ghastly plan and finally return to my family.
