AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’d have thrown her a shocked look if I was capable of doing anything but grimace in agony. “How... did you know?”
“I know everything,” she replied without irony. “What I don’t know is why you went to Eadaoin or that fool Bradach for advice before you came to me?”
“Because Eadaoin is trained in seduction and Bradach is successfully seducing you.” Pain addled my mind too much for subtlety.
Shockingly, Aeris laughed. “It does look that way, doesn’t it? Like the closed and hard-hearted Aeris is being swept along by the roguish flying man.” She laughed harder, popping my brow. “What you couldn’t have known, my queen, is that Bradach is an incorrigible bed-hopper. He’s had his way with every woman inthe castle, and only set his eyes on me because I was last on the list.
“Bradach is...” Her expression softened. “Smart, sweet, brave, and funny. But I did not know any of these things until I forced him to see that none of his tricks would work on me. If he wanted sex, he could get that anywhere. But if he wants something real, he has to open up, show me the true him, be vulnerable.
“Ana.” She wiped a stray tear from my cheek. “Dances, face paints, and insincere puffery was never going to work. To love is to be vulnerable. It’s to give your soul to someone knowing you’ll never get it back, and that’s okay, because your soul will live happier entwined with theirs than it ever did alone and yearning within you.”
“But... how do I do that?” I croaked. “How do I get Alisdair to open up to me?”
“That is not for me to say, my lady, but I wonder, do you know anything about the real Alisdair Lumenfell? Where he’s from? How he began? What he likes? What he curses? What he wishes for? Do you know any of these things?” Aeris deposited me in front of the war room. “Have you even asked?”
I stared down the hallway she disappeared around long after she left.
I STUDIED ALISDAIRout of the corner of my eye. He said nothing of my late arrival when I walked into the war room. He merely dismissed Foalan, then pointed to the table next to him.
I went over and found a list of runes, their translations, and tracing paper for me to write them. I got on with the work without a word.
“What?” Alisdair asked, making me jump. “If you have a question, ask it.”
I have a great many questions, but is it truly as simple as asking them? Is that all I have to do to get you to open yourself to me?
“How do you do it?” I asked instead. “Hold back the curse. None of the other faeriken do.”
“Because they can’t. It takes more strength, magic, and concentration than even the strongest among my people possess.”
“Why do you do it? Surely you don’t have to. None of your people would judge you,” I said. “Or is it vanity?”
“Do you think me handsome enough for vanity?”
The question quickened my pulse, because the immediate and only answer was yes.
“And that is why,” he continued, looking up to meet my eye. “I do it for you.”
I blinked, mind slowing down trying to process that. “Me? You use all your magic and strength to appear fae for me? Why?”
“Because I promised you that first day in the carriage that I would have you every night, four times a night,” he replied, tone matter-of-fact. “The least I could do was not put you through the indignity of being mounted by a hideous beast.”
My lips parted but nothing came out. Of all the reasons I considered for why Alisdair had to remain his coldly handsome self, that he was being considerate of me never made the list.
I asked something true about him, and this is what he tells me. He had to prove there was decency somewhere in his empty chest. Decency to make my own chest thump harder and faster.
“What are you working on?” I sharply changed the subject. “Your plans for the conquer of Elva?”
“I could be working on nothing else,” he replied, without looking up from the map. “There’s nothing more pressing.”
I sat up straighter. “We said we’d make a plan of attack together.”
“I welcome your opinion at any time, my queen.”
My brows furrowed, but I didn’t sense any mocking or sarcasm. “Well, if that’s true, I do have an idea, but there’s something I need to know first.”
“Such as?”
“You have spies in Lyrica, yes? And the other kingdoms too?”
