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Just because one guy broke her heart and shattered her expectations didn’t mean Nikki was supposed to give up.
But it wasn’t as easy as Al wanted to make it seem.
Nikki had been “all in” with André in a way that sort of felt like she’d never gotten “all out.”
Nikki wasn’t interested in casual dating.
Her standards had always been high because her parents’ relationship had been so great.
She had no doubt that she’d put her own unreasonable expectations on her relationship with André. Which she’d blamed as the main reason he’d fled.
And just when she’d accepted that love like her parents’ was rare and unusual, Johnny and Hannah had fallen in love right before her eyes. And then Sunshine and Sabine.
Maybe she’d just been allowed to witness magic unfold as a way of keeping her hoping.
Whatever the reason, it had worked.
She went on dates because Al had begged her to give it a chance. But inwardly she knew, lukewarm love wasn’t enough for her. She wanted what she saw in her parents and her friends’ relationships—depth and consistency and peace.
And if she couldn’t have that, then she’d just surround herself with good friends and good music. Sort of like a punker’s version of “crazy cat lady.” She could be a crazy guitar amp lady.
She glanced through her disaster of a front room.
Or a crazy drum kit lady.
The weird aunt that showed up to BBQs wearing fishnets and taught all the kiddies how to make liberty spikes with egg whites and gelatin.
And the dating wasn’t so bad. It was nice to go out and have someone buy her dinner every once in a while. If only to say she’d tried.
But she’d put some rules down right away with Al. Four dates was the limit. If she wasn’t stupid in love with the guy by date four, she would call it off.
Which meant Ryan still had two more dates before she had to give him “the talk.”
She was actually pretty proud of “the talk.” She’d perfected it after a night of tequila shots and Mario Kart with Steinhoff and Asa. They had given her tips on how to let guys down without them even realizing it.
It went something like, “You’re too amazing a person to be held back by me.” Details customized for the man involved.
One thing she had decided to do when she’d started dating again was to never leave them wondering what had happened. Ghosting was unacceptable.
Wonder where she’d gotten that idea.
Anyway, back to Ryan.
He was really into baseball.
She was pretty sure that was the main reason they weren’t going to fall in love. That, and he couldn’t remember what she did for a living.
“What’s…?” Ryan pointed at the bass drum and then the other various musical equipment that littered the wood floors of the formal dining room, living room, and entryway.
She waited for him to finish his question.
He shook himself out of it and faced Nikki. “Are you okay?”
And this was why she had given him more than one date. He was actually very kind.
“Yes, just a sprain.”
“Is that going to be hard for your job?”
