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“Say it again.”
I frown. “Which part? I kind of had diarrhea of the mouth there for a minute.”
“Thelovepart.”
I swallow hard and lean in to kiss her forehead before pulling back to look at her again, gently dragging my fingertips down her cheek.
“I love you. I tried not to. Ireallytried because I’m still not feeling great about being in a relationship when I still have to get on a bull in a few weeks and ride until October, but it seems that I just can’t control the way I feel when it comes to you. And I don’twantto hold back because being with the two of you has changed my life in all of the good ways.”
She’s crying again, but she’s smiling, too. “Same.”
“That’s all I get?”
She chuckles and brushes a tear off of her cheek. “I love you, too, Brady. And I know that Daisy loves you. For the first time in areallylong time, I feel like a woman again. Not just a mom or a business owner. Awoman.You make me laugh, and I know without a doubt that I’m safe with you.”
“You are.”
She threads her fingers through mine as she seems to gather her thoughts, and I’m reminded that I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than this woman. Even when she’s vulnerable and a bit of a mess, she’s absolutely gorgeous.
“I told you before, I was a foster kid all through my teenage years.”
Here we go.The hard stuff. Maybe she needed to hear that I loved her before she felt brave enough to confide in me with the hardest pieces of her life.
“Yes, you did.”
“I would say that my experience was very similar to Jake’s. Abusive. Mean. Pretty fucked-up.”
I clench my jaw, and she reaches up to cup my face in her soft hand.
“I know it’s hard for you to hear this, so if you’d rather not?—”
“I’m fine, baby. You can tell me. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to commit homicide, but you can tell me.”
Her lips twitch at that. “I was first raped when I was fourteen.”
“Jesus.” I want to stand and pace. I want to punch the goddamn wall. But I don’t because she needs me with her, and from here on out, Abbi will get anything and everything she needs or wants in this life.
I’ll make sure of it.
“I never told anyone because it was drilled into me that no one cared. I didn’t matter. No one missed me, and no one would check on me. And, for the most part, they were right. I was where I was because there was no one else in the world that wanted me. So, I was used and hurt and beaten. Often. I did get pulled out of one house because a teacher noticed that I had a bruise around my neck, and I really think that if I’d stayed there, I would have died.”
“Christ.” I can’t help it. I lean forward and rest my face in my hands.
“I learned to be small. To not get noticed. To keep things clean, eat what was on my plate, and stay in my room. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t get sick. I triedso hardnot to get sick becauseI didn’t want to inconvenience anyone by having to go to the doctor.”
I want to kill them. All of them.
“It got a little easier in high school because I could join clubs and volunteer for things, so I wasn’t home as much. I had two different homes in high school, and both were close to the school, so I could walk back and forth, kind of come and go. So, by the time I was seventeen, the worst of it was over. By then it was just neglect. They let me live there in exchange for the money the state paid them. But the damage was done.
“When I turned eighteen, I left. On my birthday.”
My head snaps up. “Where the hell did you go?”
“Nate snuck me enough money to pay for a tiny studio apartment and food and utilities, and I started to work. I’d already had a job at a fast-food place in the summers, but my foster parents always took my paychecks. Claimed it was for the luxury of living there. If I didn’t turn it over, they beat me, so really I was just paying to not get my ass whooped every week.”
She shrugs, as if to sayoh well, and all I can do is watch her.
“I discovered that I was a pretty good waitress, and I got good tips. I also got a night job as a cleaner for businesses. Offices and stuff like that. I really liked that job, and Mrs. Pitkin was super nice. She always slipped me an extra twenty bucks here or there because she knew I was saving up for a car.”
