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I'mnever enough.
I've bought supplies to get through my heat alone. Toys, snacks, the softest blankets I could find. It won't be pleasant, but I'll survive. And even if my alphas offered to help, I'd rather claw my own eyes out than accept any of them touching me. The humiliation of knowing they were only doing it out of obligation, that they still don't want me... I can't stand it.
Too bad my instincts haven't gotten the memo.
A bitter laugh escapes me, echoing harshly off the tile. Look at me, the perfect fucking omega, bent over the bathroom counter, sick because she's been rejected by her alphas.
What a joke.
I was told it would all be worth it. The primping, the posturing, the gritting my teeth and quietly putting up with the censure from other omegas both at home and at finishing school. I was told that one day, I would have my own household, my own domain to rule. Promised I would have alphas who would love and cherish me.
Well, now I'm hurdling toward my first unsuppressed heat on my own with absolutely nothing to show for it but a magazine-worthy house that feels like a soulless showroom and a pack that's utterly ambivalent toward my existence.
I straighten up, wincing as the movement pulls at the aching marks. There's no time to wallow in self-loathing and pity. I have to get ready. Damien is having some hotshot investor over for dinner tonight, and I'm expected to play the doting trophy omega, never mind that I can barely stand upright.
I cover the marks with fresh bandages and a high-necked dress, wearing my collar over the neck, and begin dabbing concealer over the dark circles beneath my eyes. By the time I'm done, I almost look human again.
Just another mask, another role to play.
I head downstairs, the scent of dinner preparations wafting from the kitchen. My stomach churns, just the thought of food making me nauseous. I pause in the doorway, taking a steadying breath before plastering on a bright smile and stepping inside.
Lori looks up from the stove, her brow furrowing as she takes in my appearance. "Are you alright, Miss Evie? You look pale."
I wave off her concern, my smile never faltering. "I'm fine, Lori. Just a bit tired."
She doesn't look convinced, her gaze dropping to my neck. She glances around to make sure we're alone before she asks, "It's the marks, isn't it? I've seen the bandages. They're infected, aren't they?"
I stiffen, my hand flying up to cover my throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Lori sets down her spoon, her expression softening. "You don't have to hide it from me, Miss Evie. I know things aren't... right between you and the alphas. I've seen how they treat you."
Tears prick at the back of my eyes and I blink them away furiously. I can't fall apart, not now. "I appreciate your concern,Lori. I really do, but I'm handling it. I just need to get through this dinner. Speaking of which, is everything on track?"
She hesitates, clearly wanting to push the issue, but nods. "Yes, miss. The roast is in the oven, the vegetables are prepped, and the table is set."
"Perfect. Thank you." I turn to leave, but Lori's voice stops me.
"You should tell them. The alphas. About the infection."
I freeze, my heart stuttering in my chest. "I can't do that."
"Why not? They're your mates, they should know?—"
"They're not my mates," I snap, the words bitter on my tongue. I wince apologetically. "They rejected me, Lori. They… they don't want me. Telling them will only make things worse."
Understanding dawns in her eyes, followed by a flash of anger. "Those bastards," she mutters, her proper tone slipping for an instant as she clenches her fists. "Pardon my language, miss, but how could they do this to you? It's not right."
A humorless laugh escapes me. "No, it's not. But it is what it is. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this farce mating. It's my burden to bear."
Lori shakes her head. "It shouldn't be. You deserve better."
The conviction in her voice cracks something open inside me, a well of longing and despair. I do deserve better. Every omega does. But this is the hand I've been dealt, and I have to play it out. There's no other choice.
I clear my throat, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. "I need to go get ready and maybe lie down for a bit. Can you make sure everything runs smoothly until I get back?"
Lori nods, her eyes still shining with anger and sympathy. "Of course. And Miss Evie? If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here."
A small smile cracks my lips, this one genuine. "Thank you, Lori," I say, touching her arm. l flee the kitchen before the tearsin my eyes spill over. I can't let her see how much her words affect me, how desperately I want to believe them.
