AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You don’t have to say it back.” He stares at her, thumbs whisking over her sharp cheekbones. A heavy ache pierces his gut. And yet, if she’s not ready, he won’t push. “I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”
Ash lays a hand on his chest. She peers up at him. A kind of vulnerable earnestness on her face. “Unfathomably, you say?”
He clears his throat. “Very much so.”
And then she smiles. “I love you too, Nathaniel.”
The wind’s knocked out of him. He stands there, stunned. Processing the fact that this fierce force of a woman loves him back.
Ash smirks. Cups his jaw. “Speechless? I didn’t think you had it in you.”
Steadied by her voice, he stares. Then crushes her in his arms, unable and unwilling to let her go. “Christ, Ashabelle,” he says hoarsely. “You more than anyone.” He pulls back. Cradles her jaw. Kisses her lips. “You more than anything.”
“I like it when you call me that,” she whispers. A shy smile crosses her gorgeous face. “Ashabelle. It makes me feel like I’m yours.”
“You are,” he promises. “You are mine.”
“Yes,” she breathes. Tears sparkle on her lashes. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain.”
He shakes his head. Rests his brow against hers. “No. I’m sorry I kept it from you.” He pulls back to look at her. “I applied for jobs at Cedars-Sinai. I have to finish out the next two months on my rig, but then I’ll be back here.” He’s making this real. He’s in this for the long run.
“Really?”
“Really. I want to be the only man in your world, Ash. The only man you want to kill. Kiss. Fuck.” His eyes turn molten. “Love. If that’s what you want.”
When she smiles, her eyes are filled with tears. “Yes, yes. I want you, Nathaniel.” She laughs, the joy on her face making his chest tighten. “I love you. Until this world ends and our sun is nothing but a shriveled, dead star, I will love you.”
He laughs. Damn if that sentiment isn’t the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. “God, that is sexy.” He leans in, whispering, “I love you,” and kisses Ash again. Then he’s dipping his hand between her thighs, and she’s smiling at him as her eyes fall closed, and soon, they’re both gone.
Nathaniel Whitford loves her.
The reminder, the cult chant, runs through her head over the dream of the last few days. This stern, serious, kind man loves her. And she loves him back.
Yes, he has to leave in less than twenty-four hours for an oil rig in the Pacific. But he’ll be back.
And they’ll be together. For the first time in a long time, she feels like she can live happily. Live bravely.
Nathaniel makes her feel like she already is. She’s still that defiant girl who’s maybe made too many mistakes, but she keeps getting back up and trying again anyway. Like all the trials and doubt she’s faced to get here were worth it. Meant to be.
He moved mountains to be with her. She’d never ask him to, and yet he did. He supports her hobbies, her business. He believes in her. He’s the epitome of constant reassurance wrapped up in the perfect package of a man.
Which really fucks with her state of mind.
Her old anxiety, the concerns about what they were, are soon edged out by a new one.
Like all good things, it could end too soon. What if he goes back to the rig and realizes he’s made a mistake? What if her absence makes his heart wander? What if all they are is puppy love in paradise?
Ash has to remind herself, a continuous loop of positive feedback in her head—in a voice that sounds a lot like Tessie’s—that it’s not ending. It’s only just beginning.
“I think my father wants to kidnap you and keep you in the basement with his trains,” Ash says one night after another longdinner at her parents’ house, where her father and Nathaniel set up a new train track. They drank red wine and listened to Nat King Cole until Ash had to drag him away.
Nathaniel’s reflection appears in the mirror. Toothbrush in hand, he comes up behind her to nuzzle the curve of her neck. “I would be honored to sleep in the train basement.”
She tips her head back against his chest. “Brown-noser.”
He kisses her brow. “Are you going to be okay when I leave?”
Twisting in his arms, she tips her chin. Takes him in. Inhales a steadying breath.
