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Sheturned toward the door without looking, without thinking, leaving, leaving —
Whensuddenly —Killik.Killik, whirling in front of her, blocking the doorway, his dagger gleaming in his clawed hand.
“No, woman,” he snarled. “No.Youshall not leave thus!”
Louisahalted, gazed at him, her heart clamouring in her chest, as he wildly waved his dagger toward her. “Youagreed to this,” he spat. “Yousworeyou cared not forWolf’spast.Youswore you would not ask.Andhere you are, breaking your word to me,again!Andhurling yet more guilt and shame upon him!”
Louisa’sbreath hitched, her head shaking, butKillikwas still here, still furious, still waving that flashing dagger. “Youhumans never ask the right questions, or seek the other side of the tale!YoukenWolfdid all this upon a merry little lark?Youken he took joy in any of this?Youken he did not pray and weep over this, night after night?Youken when he stoleMariaaway, he thought he would ever return home, or see any of us again?Or, ifSimoncaught him, that he should evenliveto see the next morn?”
Louisaswallowed, shot an uncertain glance back to whereUlfarr’shead was bowed again, his big body curled even smaller than before.Asif he didn’t want to hear this, maybe couldn’t bear to hear this, had she really hurled yet more guilt and shame upon him…
“Iwatched him wrestle and weigh this,”Killik’shard voice continued. “Iwatched him weep as he spoke his farewells to his pack, and to me.Heknew this was the end of all he cared for, of mayhap hislife, and yet he did this, for he thought we were at great risk of death, from one of the most powerful lords in the realm!Sohe chose to draw this upon himself, instead!Ashe hasalwaysdone!”
Hisvoice rang through the small room, his fury flashing through his eyes, thudding intoLouisa’sfrantic heartbeat.Andshe was just listening now, just needing to hear the rest of it, please…
“Andfor his judgement,”Killikhissed, lower now, “Marianear cut off his prick — and thenSimonnearkilledhim.Simondefeated him in combat before all the clan, all his pack.Simonbroke eight of his bones, weakened his scenting beyond repair, and refused to allow our healer to touch him.Heleft theWolfof theSkaitorotin his blood and his agony and hisshame.”
What?No.Simonhad done that?ThatSimon?TheSimonwho was supposed to be a good leader in their clan?TheSimonthey’d all sworn to uphold and respect?
Louisa’ssheer horror must have shown on her face, becauseKillikslowly smiled at her, his eyes glinting with mockery and pain. “Itwas near half a year beforeWolfhealed,” he said coldly. “Andyou ken what he did amidst this?Heswore yet more vows toSimon.HegaveMariagifts, and begged for her forgiveness.Heswore to stay here at the mountain.Heswore he would not seek to gain a mate or bear a son of his blood, until he had gained the fealty and forgiveness ofSkai-kesh and the clan.Untilhe was restored to the clan as a trueSkaison.”
Oh.Oh, gods.Ulfarrhad publicly sworn not to take a mate.Amate.AndhereLouisahad come to his home, and let all these people believe that he’d done it anyway.ThatUlfarrhad broken his word toSimon, and to all his kin.
“Andwe can’t just — tell themI’monly a friend?”Louisaasked, high-pitched. “Orthat you’re only — paying me, just the waySimondid withMaria?Becauseit’s true!”
Shewinced even as she said it, andKilliklaughed, low and weary. “Ach,Imeant to only call youWolf’sbedmate, once they caught your scent upon him,” he said. “Butnow you have come here, with our son, and paraded yourself all over this mountain, reeking ofWolf’sseed, before mayhap every orc in our clan!Andif we now claim this is naught, and we are onlypayingyou” — he laughed again — “you ken how this looks, coming fromWolf, ach?Afterall he has done?”
Damnit.Louisastared atKillik, her mouth slack, as waves of hot and cold flashed up her spine.Becauseit would look — like mockery.Likea challenge.LikeUlfarrwas mimicking whatSimonhad done withMaria, and flaunting it before all his clan, in order to break his own vow towardSimon.Inorder to escape his own punishment.
Itwould look likeUlfarrwas standing againstSimon, again.Andno, of course they couldn’t risk that now, surely that would be even worse thanUlfarronly breaking his vow, seeking to take a mate…
“Godsdamnit,”Louisacroaked, whipping around to stare atUlfarr’scurled-up body. “Fuck.I’mso, so sorry.”
Hervoice cracked, her head whipping back and forth, her hands clamping to her mouth.Andshe could almost feel the effort it took forUlfarrto raise his head, to hold his shimmering eyes to hers. “Naught— for you — to regret,” he said, his voice halting. “Iought — to have — told you.”
Andwithout waiting for her answer, he slowly dropped his head again, his powerful body gone so small and sad and alone.AndasLouisastared at him, she felt a sudden, stuttering fear.Maybe— maybe the same kind of fearKillikhad felt when he’d first come to her, seeking those ten nights…
Ifear for my wolf’s life.Ifear that one day, he shall awaken, and find he can no more bear the shame.Andthen he shall slit his throat, or fall on his sword, or walk into a river with a boulderstone…
“Andyou kenWolfshould have chosen to do all he did, if he had found another way?” cameKillik’scold, implacable voice, now close behind her. “IfSimonhad heard his truth, and offered to bring him alongside, or to seek joy together with his willing woman — you kenWolfshould have refused this?Youken he should have wished for all this pain and grief instead?”
No, damn it, of course not, and it was likeKillikwas just twisting the dagger at this point, his voice scraping inLouisa’sear. “AndItold you,” he hissed, “how deeplyWolflongs for a woman.Helongs for a strong, hungrySkaiwoman to tend and plough and enjoy, and mayhap even share with those he cares for most!Soach, woman, this is whyIhuntedyou!”
You.Somethingsharp and cold prodded intoLouisa’sback asKillikspoke — the tip of his dagger, curse him — but there wasn’t even a twinge of fear or alarm.No, no, because his unthinkable, impossible words were still ringing, raging, roaring through her skull.Thisis whyIhunted you.You.You.
Ina hunt, aSkaiseeks out the mate he wishes, and makes her an offer…
Butno.No.Absolutelynot.Therewas no way that was whatKillikhad done, right?No.
“Forafter all this,”Killikcontinued, that dagger still nudging softly against her spine, “Wolfdeserves aSkaiwoman even better thanMaria.Hedeserves a woman with power and knowledge amongst her kin.Hedeserves a woman who does not faint or falter.Hedeserves a woman who knows work and fealty and sacrifice, a woman who knows what it is to have kin to care for.Awoman who welcomes not only his own goodSkaiprick, but the strongSkaiploughing of his closest bedmate, also.Anda woman” — his voice lowered — “who sees not his shame, but his strength.Awoman worthy of theWolfof theSkai.”
Louisa’sthroat convulsed, her heart skipping in her chest.Andwhen her eyes darted sideways,Killikwas behind her, almost,almosttouching her, his mouth so close his breath tickled her ear.
“Soshow me,” he breathed. “Provethis to me.”
Hiswords stuttered harsh and fierce intoLouisa’sbelly, into her groin, into the cool teasing tip of that dagger against her back.
Showhim.Provethis.
