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“Butwe both know you won’t change either, you prick,” she snarled. “Sogoodbye.Forgood.”
22
Louisaended up stalking back to the house withJoanandHalthorr, her hands in fists, her fury and frustration still seething through her chest.
HowdareKillikthreaten her like that again.Howdare he throw all his mess onto her again.Howdare he blame her for his own damned inability to keep his own damned cock in his own damned trousers.
Andworst of all, how dare he hurtUlfarrlike that.Howdare he take such a lovely, wonderful day, and stomp all over it, because he’d been jealous.BecauseUlfarrhad touched her and kissed her, which was exactly whatKillikhad wanted him to do.
ButasLouisastalked along, keeping her eyes straight ahead, there was a new, bitter twinge of something almost like… guilt.Becausecurse it, maybe shehadoverstepped the bounds of their agreement.MaybeshehadledUlfarrto believe this was something… more, beyond just the ten nights.Maybeshe was setting him up to be more hurt, more wounded than before.
Andcurse it, maybe she could even admit that despite allKillik’srubbish, he’d still made it excessively clear that he wanted to… supervise.He’dwanted to watch, to approve, to control.He’dwanted to be there withUlfarr, maybe just to guard him, or direct him, but maybe also because he… he cared.
Louisagroaned, shook her head, rubbed at her eyes — and belatedly foundJoanwatching her as they walked, her eyes uneasy and searching.WhileonJoan’sother side,Halthorrwas glancing towardLouisatoo, with something not unlike sympathy in his eyes.
“Areyou… all right,Lou?”Joanasked, with a wince. “Didsomething… happen… down there, with those orcs?”
Right.Louisalet out a shaky exhale, sought to dig through her scrambled thoughts for an answer.Nomatter how she felt aboutKillik, she still didn’t want to create animosity between her staff and the orcs, to create doubts about that beautiful little camp…
“No,I’mfine,” she said. “KillikandIjust had a… small disagreement.”
Buther voice came out flat and bitter, and she was vaguely surprised byHalthorr’sbrief, cheerful chuckle. “Killiknever hassmall disagreements,” he told her. “Heshall either be calm and smiling as he mocks you, or else flying at you with his dagger in hand, seeking to slit your throat.”
Louisablinked, and that was a hoarse, bitter laugh, barking from her throat. “Yes,I’venoticed,” she replied flatly. “Manytimes.”
Andwait, she wasn’t supposed to be betraying that toJoan, sparking more of that unease in her eyes — but besideJoan,Halthorrlooked sympathetic again, giving a wincing little smile. “Ach, well, you kenKillikwould not fight you thus, if he did not think you worthy of it,” he said. “Andhe has always been a touch…zealous, when it comes toWolf.”
Wolfagain.Louisa’shead tilted, her thoughts hitching backwards, catching onKillik’saccusations, his rage.Shallyou stand tall with the shamedWolfof theSkai.Shallyou learn of all his grief and his sins.Thatis a sentence from our kin, to keep him trapped in that curst mountain, where he shall never again find joy…
Butdamn it,Killikhad also forbiddenLouisato ask questions, to try to learn ofUlfarr’spast — and she didn’t still care aboutKillik’srules, did she?Youhumans speak too much.Neverasking the right questions, or allowing the truth of the answers…
“Why… do you all callUlfarrWolf?” she tentatively asked towardHalthorr, searching his genial eyes. “IknowKillikalso calls him theWolfof theSkai?”
Shewas vaguely surprised to seeHalthorr’seasy nod, his smile that looked almost approving. “Ach, this is a name that has long been borne byWolf’sfathers,” he replied. “AndWolfis even there in his own name, forUlfarrmeansWolf-Spear, in our tongue.”
Louisaconsidered that for a moment, frowning atHalthorr’sface. “Andwhat… what does it mean?” she asked, her voice careful. “Whatdoes aWolfactually… do?”
ButHalthorr’ssmile was again warm and genial, his shoulder shrugging. “Indays past, theSkaioft ran in packs,” he said. “Eachpack would hunt and travel together, and fight together in battle, and offer care and safety to its warriors’ kin.Wolf’sfathers before him all led packs, oft the strongest packs amongst us — and his fathers oft also served as our clan’sEnforcers, a role of great power amidst our kin.”
Louisakept studyingHalthorr, following that, searching carefully for the next question. “AnddidUlfarrever have a… pack?Orserve as thisEnforcer?”
Halthorr’seyes flicked away, and his smile had gone rather fixed. “No,Wolfwas neverEnforcer,” he replied, “Buthe did have a pack, for many, many summers.Iwas part of this, andKillik, andElgrandIgull, andRagniandKoriandFasti, also.Mayhapa dozen of us.”
Really?Louisablinked atHalthorr, as her thoughts flicked back to the orcs at the camp, to howUlfarrhad seemed in charge of them all, somehow.ButHalthorrhad been speaking about whathadbeen, in days past… right?AndLouisawasn’t supposed to ask — was she? — but perhapsHalthorrhad followed the next question anyway, his breath exhaling in a heavy sigh.
“Butwhen our brotherSimonbecameEnforcer, afterWolf’sfather,” he added, a little stilted now, “he disbanded all the packs.SoIkenWolfis now only a name, ach?”
Wait.Simon.Simonhad takenUlfarr’sfather’s title, and disbandedUlfarr’spack?Simonhad been the orcLouisahad met in the library that time, right?Thehuge, hulking orc who’d shaken her hand, and smiled at her?
“Andthis change had to be permanent?” she cautiously asked. “Itwouldn’t be possible forUlfarrto… rebuild his pack, somehow?Tobe… theWolfagain, beyond just the name?”
Therewas an instant’s silence, and then a curt laugh fromHalthorr. “Ach, no,” he said, short. “Itwould not.”
Well.Thatwasn’t helpful, and if anything it only raised even more damned questions.HadSimon’sdecision to disband the packs been targeted towardUlfarr?Hadit been some kind of punishment forUlfarr’ssins?
Andgods, whathadUlfarrdone?Andif his actions had been that serious, why did he still have the support — and obviously the respect — of orcs likeHalthorr, likeKillik?Evenif —Louisawinced —Killikstill clearly kept that distance, too?
ButHalthorrwasn’t talking, now, still staring straight ahead, toward whereLouisa’sgrounds were now visible through the trees.Andas she blinked at the overgrown lawn, the shabby outbuildings, the big square house with its peeling paint, her thoughts hitched, stuttered, with sudden, too-sharp visions of that camp.Thecozy little shelters, the cover of leaves and branches, even that firelit underground room, dark and snug and safe…
