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“Ahh, so I’ll be your dirty secret.” Kind of hurt, I roll on my back, but don’t look away.
My words hang in the air. She looks down. Her fingers nervously toy with a strand of her hair. “Cillian. If I’m beinghonest, I’m not sure what will happen after they get back. All I know is I can’t lose you.”
Her response raises more red flags for me but I try to put myself in her shoes. It can’t be easy for her to be a surviving child with overprotective parents. I’m patient, though. Hopefully, she’ll open up and we can figure out a solution.
God knows, I don’t want this to end either.
“Ivy.” I turn back on my side to face her fully. “Whatever happens, I’ll be here to help. Okay? If your dad is anything like my brother, who will do anything to protect his wife and kids, he wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.”
Her eyes widen. “Yeah. You’ve hit the nail on the head. He didn’t used to be this way. All of this craziness started after my brother died. He’s petrified of something happening to me, and I don’t want him to worry. As annoying as all of this is, I love my parents.”
“Let’s take things one day at a time. I’m enjoying getting to know you and I love having you here. You told the staff you’re staying with your friend Emma for the summer so we have time. Stay with me until they get back and we’ll deal with your parents later.” I clasp her tightly.
Ivy circles my nipple with her finger. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be. We have a plan.”
“Tell me the truth, though. Are you worried about this plan?” Raising an eyebrow, I can’t mask a flickerof concern. “You’re lying to them. I’d hate for any kind of deceit to put you—or us—in a tough spot. If they find out you’ve been staying here, I’m not an idiot, they’ll blame me for corrupting you. It’s important we’re on solid, truthful ground as soon as possible. It’s something my da drilled into me after his troubles.”
Ivy bites her lip and squeezes her eyes shut. “Yes. I’m a tiny bit worried and I definitely don’t want there to be any lies between us. I wanted to tell you about my relationship with my parents, even though I know it probably seems bizarre. I’ll figure out a way to tell them about us too.”
“Truth is important, baby.” I kiss her forehead.
“Yeah.” Tears well in her eyes as she traces my lips with her finger. “It is.”
“Don’t cry,” I reassure her, “It’ll be okay.We’reokay.”
I hold her close and pat her trembling back as she cries. Her breath eventually steadies and, despite my earlier concerns, a protective warmth floods through me. Ivy’s vulnerability and courage in revealing her tangled realities makes me feel even closer to her. We’re building trust as we navigate our budding relationship.
My God, how I cherish this woman. My mind returns to the bird analogy.
She’s trying to spread her wings and escape from the gilded cage her parents have kept her in. What a fucking gift.I do not take it for granted I’m the man she’s entrusted her newfound freedom with.
Above all else, her honesty tonight reassures me.
It’s early days, but we’re building something special.
eleven
Ivy
Two Weeks Later
How did my lifeget so complicated?
Perched on a cushy stool in the airy kitchen of my empty house, I’m sipping a mango smoothie after my dance class, waiting to start my session with Dr. Martin, my therapist. Hilde knows I take my therapy calls at the house, so she’s out running errands.
Today, I need some perspective. It’s been three weeks since my parents left, and they haven’t checkedin on me once.
I’m not stupid. Hilde is probably keeping track of my comings and goings and, if she’s asked, will tell them I’ve been at Emma’s this entire time except to come home to pick up new clothes. Thank God, I’ve been such an obedient and dutiful daughter, maybe that’s why they haven’t checked up on me.
It doesn’t really matter though, I’m in big trouble either way. I’ve tried to be truthful, but I’m still lying to Cillian. I’m lying by default to my parents.
It’s not who I am, and for the past three weeks, I’ve selfishly justified the reasons why it’s necessary.
I’ve never been happier. I’m head over heels in love with Cillian. We haven’t officially defined our relationship yet, but we’re a couple. The only time we’re apart is when he’s working and I’m in dance or art class. Even then, we text and talk to each other all day long.
Gah, this double life is taking its toll. I want to come clean with everyone but I’m scared to death I’ll lose it all. I thought it would get easier, but I was wrong. Now, it seems impossible.
My phone buzzes. It’s a text from Cillian.
