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Chapter twenty-two
ZANE
The Next Morning
God.WhyamIsitting here in ICU with my dad? I don’t care that he almost died. I’m trying to find compassion, empathy … anything.
Nope.
All I feel is fury. This man, who I share DNA with, always finds a way to fuck up my life. He doesn’t even have to try. It just happens.
Literally, anything that’s ever gone wrong for me can be traced back to Carter. Come to think of it, Ty and I have that in common.
What if … he hadn’t cheated on my mom when I was a baby.
What if … he hadn’t overdosed in the park that day.
What if … he showed up for me when I was a kid.
What if … he hadn’t deliberately broken up Ty and Zoey.
What if … he hadn’t fucked a teenage runaway and gotten her pregnant.
My mind is spinning. I haven’t slept. I just want to get out of here. I need Fee. So badly. She’s the one who’ll make sense of all this. She’s been there from the beginning. God, I need help to get me through. This mess is so hard to process. I can’t begin to comprehend the past twelve hours.
In one rip of an envelope, all of my dreams have been destroyed. Fee’s hard work rendered useless. Gus is forever tainted. LTZ is broken up.
All because of Carter.
No wonder Ty went ballistic. His reaction last night was completely understandable. Thirty years of trauma all came to a head. If I feel this angry, it’s not hard to imagine why he beat the shit out of my—our—dad. Carter fucking deserved it.
My reaction, on the other hand, was abhorrent. I’m ashamed. It was like an out-of-body experience. I don’t remember much. I know I was pummeling him. Screaming. Hurting him. Physically. Mentally. With intention. The man’s been through enough. Now he’s in jail. I’m devastated to know I’m capable of such destructive behavior.
Justdevastated.
But, not surprised.
Impulsiveness has always been something I’ve struggled with. I get it from Carter. It’s the trait that makes him do terrible, selfish things without regard for consequences.
“She seemed vaguely familiar ….”
God, he makes me sick. I’m a fucking mess.
My phone pings.
Fee:Connor and Ronni are still here. They don’t want to leave me alone, when can you pick me up?
Zane:I’m leaving in a few. Waiting on some test results.
Fee:Okay, I’ll just call Zeke.
Zane:No. Wait. Please.
Fee:I’m exhausted, babe. Do what you need to do, if I can’t be there with you I want to be with Mia.
Zane:I’ll leave now. Mom’s here, she can just text me.
Fee:Are you sure?
