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I’ll never leave her. Not in a billion years.
I know she’d never risk leaving Mia. Or me.
All of this is a terrible dream.
I hope I wake up soon.
Chapter one
FIONA
Nearly Two Years Prior
It’skindoflikebeing suspended in time when you drown.
Slowly you slip down, sinking farther and farther into a vast, aqua-blue ocean. At first, the sun flitters at the surface, making the sea look like glittery, blue diamonds. It’s like heaven. Dreamlike. Floaty. Beautiful.
Once the light begins to dissipate, suddenly your surroundings feel ominous. The water feels heavy, not light. Stifling. Claustrophobic. The sea turns midnight blue. Then it is so dark you can’t even see your hand inches from your face.
That’s when survival instinct kicks in. Arms sluice upward. Your legs scissor and kick in attempt to reach the surface. All you want is to find the light again. Just one more time.
All of this happens in a minute, though it feels like hours. Days. Weeks. Years.
But it’s too late. Your lungs fill. When you try to breathe, all you do is suck water into your windpipe. You panic. Flail. Gasp. Scream. Fight with everything you have, because if you don’t reach the surface …
I shoot up in bed, clutching my chest. Gulping in air. Tears stream down my face. I can’t catch my breath. My heart pounds.
Goddammit.
This sucks so bad. I can’t keep having these drowning dreams. They’re freaking me the fuck out.
I’m pulled from behind into a full-body hug.
“Your doctor said this would pass in another week or two. Stick with it, Fee. Subconsciously you know I’d never let you drown.” He nuzzles my neck with his scruffy face, tickling me a bit.
I lean back against Zane. My best friend. My lover. My everything from the day I was born. “I know you wouldn’t. It’s just a lot freakier than they said it would be. If I’d known it was this hard to wean myself off Xanax, I’d never have started taking it in the first place.”
“You’ve been under tremendous amounts of stress with Mia’s custody stuff for so long, babe.” Zane eases me down so he’s spooning me. “It was either that or not sleeping. Now that Corey-fucking-Johnson is firmly in the rearview mirror, you just need a little recoup time and you’ll be as good as new. The world is ours for the taking. At-fucking-last.”
My entire body relaxes against him. “Yeah, I knew I had to stop when I realized I was taking double my dose. There’s no way I’m going down that path.Obviously.”
Addiction has taken so much away from my man, there’s no way I’d ever do that to him. Not after we’ve overcome so much to have our happily ever after.
“Obviously.” Zane skims his hand under my tank top down my belly. I stiffen…then relax when he continues lower and cups my mound, his finger circling my clit. “How does a nice, relaxing fuck sound right about now? Will that take the edge off? I’ll make you come. Put that beautiful smile back on your lips.”
I twist around to face him. Grab his cheeks with both my hands and pull him toward me. Hungrily, I mash my lips against his. “I’d rather tie you up and tease you. Then I want you to fuck me so hard you split me in two.”
“Hell to the yeah.” Zane rolls over to grab a silk scarf from the nightstand and holds it up.“Blindfold?”
“Sure.” I take it from him and he scoots up the bed and lies back against the headboard.
I reach behind the headboard and flip over the restraints we keep hidden from Mia. Zane watches with amusement when I buckle one wrist and then the other to the bedposts. He looks like a hot, heathen Jesus with the beginnings of a boner.
No, screw the blasphemy. He’s a Goddamn Adonis. Long, curly black hair flows past his shoulders. Deep. soulful brown eyes bore into me. Chiseled jaw with a smattering of whiskers. Bare chest with defined abs. Cut hipbones. Lean but muscled legs. Long, thick cock at half-mast against his belly.
Mine.
“Take your shirt off, Fee. Let me see your tits,” Zane growls.
