Page 15 of Signs and Signals


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Chapter Eight

Indya

This has been the most insane Sunday our little family has had in a long time. It is barely past two in the afternoon, and shit has been hitting the fan since six thirty this morning. I am exhausted. I got home around midnight last night, maybe a little after, the house was dark, everyone was asleep, and I was well on my way to do the same. I decide to just wash the makeup off my face and shower in the morning because I did not want to risk waking Amara or Trevor.

After washing my face, I head to my room and change from my gown into my shorts and tank top. I climb into bed and my mind goes straight to Atlas. I can feel my cheeks heat and the smile growing on my face.

I had a great time, even before I met Atlas. I was enjoying myself, which is what I love about interpreting for others. Seeing the person I’m working with have a great time, feeling comfortable and confident in their own skin, brings me joy. It makes all the hardships worth it.

The way Atlas held me so tight when we were dancing felt amazing. I’ve never been held like that by anyone. We spent almost two hours on the dance floor, never speaking, just soaking in each other’s presence. It was as if the world aroundus disappeared, and it was just the two of us, moving in perfect harmony.

The only downside of the night was when we were interrupted by his ex and his mother. Talk about uncomfortable. Even now, I don’t know what to think about that whole ordeal. It was weird, uncalled for, and rude, if I’m being honest. Who does something like that at a charity gala? In the middle of a dance floor, no less. I guess that’s just how the other half lives.

When Atlas asked to exchange numbers, I was hesitant. My track record with the opposite sex isn’t exactly stellar. We danced a few more times and had a drink together. He told me about his life as a ball player, and I shared a bit about my life as a sign language interpreter. I ended up giving him my number right before I left, thinking that with my luck, I might never see him again. I wasn’t as open with him as he was with me, but I figured the least I could do was give him my phone number.

I finally fall asleep sometime around four in the morning. Then suddenly, I jerk awake because all I hear is a screaming match between Amara and Trevor. I go to put my pillow over my head to get a little more sleep before Haven wakes up, when I hear it.

“I told you to get out, Trevor. So, help me God, I will kick your ass, if you do not get your shit and get the fuck out of my house. I was nice enough to let you sleep on my floor last night since it was late, but I told you I wanted you gone before Haven woke up. I do not want you around her. Ever.”

I have never heard this tone come from Amara, she sounds pissed, yes, but there is also something threatening that is mixed in.

“I said I was sorry, Amara. I was just trying to get her attention, but she was ignoring me, she just kept looking at that stupid fucking crown, smiling. If she would have justacknowledged me, then I would not have grabbed her arm.” Trevor is just digging himself a deeper hole.

But I can’t just lay here and listen now, because now I am pissed. That fucker probably scared the shit out of my baby girl, and he put his hands on her!

The vision plays across my mind, and I am in the living room before I even realized I opened the door to my room. Amara and Trevor are standing by the door, Amara is holding it open while she is tossing bags into the hall, and Trevor is just standing there trying to convince her it was all a misunderstanding.

“What the hell is going on? What happened? Why are you touching my child? What do you mean she would not acknowledge you when you tried to get her attention? What did you do, say her name out loud, snap your fingers, clap your hands? What, Trevor? Please tell me what you did to make my child ignore you, because she has never ignored Amara or her daycare teachers, her aunts or uncle, or me. Come on, Trevor, enlighten me,” I say as calmly as I can. Trying to hold in the rage that is burning me from the inside out.

“For your information, I called her name, like, fifty times and she never responded. Amara told me to give her a snack while she jumped in the shower and dressed for bed. She wouldn’t answer me so I put the snack back and told her that if she wanted to ignore me, then she would not be receiving an after-dinner snack. Do you think she acknowledged me even then? No, she didn’t. Hailey is a spoiled brat, and you only have yourself to blame.” Trevor smirks, puffing his chest like he just put me in my place. That is when I lose it.

“You fucking moron, her name is Haven, H.A.V.E.N, Haven. She is four years old and deaf, you dick. She didn’t ignore you—she can’t hear you, or anyone or anything for that matter. You have been here all week, and you didn’t notice all the signlanguage that has been going on? Have you not noticed she has never spoken? Haven is the furthest thing from a spoiled brat, you prick, maybe if you had spent the last five or six months getting to know us, instead of turning your nose up at us you would see how sweet and kind and smart she is. But no, you were too worried about yourself and how you needed to get Amara away from us to give Haven or I a chance. Amara, I love you more than anything, but I would be more comfortable if Trevor did not step foot in this apartment around my child ever again. I will not be responsible for my actions if I ever see your face again, you piece of shit.” I turn and stomp my way back to the hallway, sneaking into Haven’s room, needing to be near her. The sight of her peaceful, sleeping face always calms me. I am shaking from all the adrenaline coursing through my body. I think that is the first time I have ever exploded like that because of someone’s words and actions.

What just happened? I’ve always prided myself on staying calm and composed, no matter the situation. But tonight, something snapped. Maybe it was the way he dismissed my feelings, or that it had to do with Haven, or perhaps it was the culmination of all the stress I’ve been under lately. Either way, I lost control, and it scares me.

I look at Haven, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. She’s my anchor, my reason for everything. I can’t afford to lose my temper like that. What kind of example would I be setting for her? I need to be strong, but also kind and patient.

Taking a deep breath, I sit down beside her bed, letting the calmness of the room wash over me. I need to find a way to manage my emotions better. For Haven’s sake, and for mine. Tonight was a wake-up call. I can’t let other people’s actions dictate my reactions. I have to be better, for both of us.

A few moments later, Amara quietly opens the door to Haven’s room and sits next to me on the floor beside her bed.She puts her arm around my shoulders, wiping the tears from my cheeks with her other hand. I lean into her embrace, trying to soak in her strength and bravery qualities she always seems to have, no matter the situation.

“I am so sorry, Indya. I didn’t know how he acts around you or Haven. I went to turn the shower on and realized I left my slippers in the bedroom. You know I hate my clean feet touching the bathroom floor, no matter how much we clean it. When I was walking back toward the bathroom, I heard Trevor. He was making fun of her for being deaf, for not being able to speak. The things he said I will never repeat, not even if you want me to, they were horrible things. I know she didn’t know what he was saying, because he knows nothing about signing, but the expression on her face when I went into the living room to give him a piece of my mind—”

She stops, a gasping sob escaping her mouth, something I have never heard, seen, or witnessed from Amara. Sure, I have seen her shed some tears, but never like this. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze, giving her the strength to finish what she was saying. I need her to finish what she was saying. A few moments pass as she gathers herself, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly. She continues to tell me everything that happened.

“When I walked into the living room, he had her by the arm and was shaking her around like a rag doll. She looked so scared, Indya. How could I let that happen to that precious little angel, who had no idea what was going on, or why he seemed angry with her? I am her aunt, I am supposed to protect her from people like him, I am supposed to protect her from everything. Your responsibilities are my responsibilities, which include caring, loving, and protecting that baby. I failed her. I failed you. I failed our family. Please don’t hate me. Please don’ttake Haven away from me. I love you both so much. I don’t want either of you to leave me.”

Her words hit me like a tidal wave, crashing over my already fragile state. I can feel her guilt and sorrow mingling with my own. I pull her closer, trying to convey through my embrace that I don’t blame her. We sit there, holding each other, both of us silently vowing to protect Haven from anyone who would dare harm her again.

She is full-on sobbing now, tears flooding my cheeks, my hand covering my mouth. How in the world could she think that we would leave her? Does she not realize that besides my foster siblings, she is the only family we have? My heart is breaking for not only my daughter, but my best friend. This woman, who is usually loud and borderline obnoxious, with a mouth like a sailor, stronger and braver than anyone I have ever met, is completely falling apart right now. I gather her in my arms, hugging her tighter than I have ever hugged her before, letting her feel the love I have for her flow from me to her.

“Amara, I would never leave you or take Haven away from you. You are our family, and even though you think you failed us, you didn’t. You kicked him out before she woke up, so she did not have to see him. You stopped him when he was hurting her, and when she was so frightened, I can guarantee, you comforted her. You are more than her Aunt Mar; you are like a second mother to her. You care for her and love her just as a mother loves their child. I never want to hear you say those things again, understand? We love you, and I’m sorry to say, but you are stuck with us for life, no matter what.”

Amara’s sobs begin to subside, her breathing evening out as she clings to me. I can feel the weight of her guilt and fear slowly lifting. She’s always been my rock, my constant in a world that often feels chaotic and uncertain. Seeing her like this breaksmy heart, but it also strengthens my resolve. We are a family, and we will face everything together.

As I hold her, I think about all the times she’s been there for me, all the times she’s picked me up when I was down. Now it’s my turn to be strong for her, to remind her that she is not alone. We are in this together, and nothing will ever change that.

Amara nods her head and sniffles a few more times, before saying, “I dumped his stupid fucking ass. He cried real tears when I told him to lose my number and address, and to forget this beautiful face and banging body, because he does not have permission to look or touch ever again. Fucking dick. If I ever see him again, I am going to give him the beat down of his life, he will be wishing he listened to me and only leaving with a broken nose.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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