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“And look at you now. Look at all you’ve achieved.”
“Yep, and you helped me achieve everything. You and my guys. So now, I’m here to help you.”
“Thanks,” I said, relaxing out of my anger. “You’re exactly what I need.”
“Is that true?”
“Absolutely. You’re the one person in the entire world I can trust to be on my side.”
The road to Cricket was wide open. We could be there in less than an hour. Everything would be fine, once I arrived in Cricket. I could put this all behind me and take up exactly where I had left off.
“Okay, then I think we should go back.”
“What? No. You can’t mean that. How is telling me to go back being on my side?”
Once again, my anger flared.
“You’re not that person who ran away from the stage when you were a teenager. You’re a grown woman now, with a kick-ass voice and a group of men who love you.”
“I don’t deserve their love. Besides, they probably hate me right now.”
“As well they should, but I bet they don’t. They’re worried about you. Especially since you’re driving a car you told everyone you could never, ever drive.”
Up until that moment, I’d been so bent on getting away from Dirty Coyote, I didn’t even think about driving the Caddy. It was my means of escape, and nothing else mattered.
“I’m driving the Caddy. Dusty’s Caddy. Dusty’s monster Caddy with the horns on the grill, and it’s no different from driving any other car I’ve ever driven. Truth is it handles even better than I thought possible.”
“See. It’s all in how you look at things.”
“Maybe. Or maybe a person knows what she can and can’t do,” I told her, not wanting to argue, but feeling as though we were close to getting into it.
“Like performing at Dirty Coyote?”
“Exactly,” I said, hoping she could understand how I was feeling and stop badgering me.
“A very smart woman once told me to find my true North Star and not to berate myself. That I would do great. Now, I’m sharing that with you. Find your North Star, because once you do, you’re going to do great. Trust me.”
“Wow. Who told you that? Your Grandma Betty?”
She turned to look at me. “You did.”
“What? No. I never…”
“You sure did, Miss I-don’t-belong-in-this cowboy-singing-ranch-owner, big-Caddy world. But you do. You always did, and Dusty knew it. That’s why he left all of this to you. That’s why you’re so scared. Because those guys back there love you… you, Connie Manors, who loves to sing and have fun. Your North Star is back at Dirty Coyote, and until you see it, you’re not going to be happy. Trust me. I’ve had years of unhappiness to know the difference.”
“You’re wrong,” I told her and hit the play button on the radio. I didn’t want to hear her anymore. I wanted to drown her out with some pop music… or talk radio… anything, just as long as it wasn’t Shea talking or any type of country music.
And of course, as if Dusty himself were in the car with us… guiding me to my North Star, my voice filled the car. It was from his funeral, and I was singing the chorus forSave a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.It was the first time I listened to myself and heard what I had sounded like that day, and damn if I wasn’t fucking great!
I immediately pulled the car over to the side of the road. “What have I done? I promised Rascal I’d go through with it. Promised the guys. Hell, I even promised myself. What am I doing? But more importantly, how did this track get here, in this Caddy? Did you have something to do with this?”
Shea sat back, grinned, and sang along. After a few beats she said, “We’re besties, and besties stick together, no matter what crazy shit we manage to get ourselves into.”
“If I was going to run, you knew I would have no choice but to take this damn car, didn’t you? That’s why this voice is coming out of those speakers. You set this all up.”
“All I did was return your hat. Everything else was just… I don’t know… fate.”
I stared at her for a couple moments and realized what a fool I’d been, what a complete and total idiot.
