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“And what exactly would that be, Elliott?” Dani challenged, ignoring Grady’s attempt to break the tension. She was unwilling to let it go. Unwilling to accept that Kam’s life no longer revolved around her. “I mean, honestly,” she shifted her gaze and, with it, the focus of her anger, across the room to Dillon. “I’m trying to understand: what exactly doesshehave to offer?”
“Dani!” Kam warned. All playful raillery had departed, and what had started with Elliott’s flippant spar of words had turned into something darker. But heedless of Kam’s sharp rebuke, the woman plowed ahead with all her pent-up fury.
“Cheap costume jewelry?” she waved her hand toward the lovespoon hanging in the shadow of Kam’s throat. “The thrill of an illicit relationship? Oh, let me guess: the promise of a gold medal?” She laughed, her caustic words rattling like gravel. “What a joke. I mean, let’s just call a spade a spade—she’s got you wrapped around her little finger, Kam. All that money spent on her medical bills and the truth is, she’s just a washed-up has-been!”
Kam was immediately on her feet. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Dani!?”
Somewhere behind the cannonade of blood rushing between her ears, Dillon was aware of Kam’s outrage. Aware of angry voices. The breaking of a glass. The slamming of a door.
But it was little more than background noise, like the static of a radio submerged in water.
She found herself on the balcony, her flaming cheeks little soothed by the breeze creeping up from the sea.
Had her mind been clear—had she not plunged headfirst into a bottle of self-pity—she wouldn’t have left it to Kam to defend her. She could hold her own against an imbecile like Dani. But tonight, she’d only wanted to get away. To escape into the shadows.
She stood leaning over the glass railing, trying to catch her breath. Her anger went so much deeper than the vitriol spewed by Dani. It was so much more than just one night... one month… one race… one injury… one rollercoaster of a year.
She hurt in ways she couldn’t describe. Ways that had nothing to do with the injuries, the surgeries, the wear and tear on her body. There was part of her that had begun to forget how to push back the hollowness threatening to rise. And another part—a more frightening part—that no longer cared.
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the little glass sea turtle with its two grains of rice tucked neatly in its shell. The gift seemed so ridiculous now.
What exactly does she have to offer?
The insult had been flung right through her—as if she wasn’t even there.
Behind her, footsteps sounded on the tile. Slow. Tentative. She didn’t have to look to know they belonged to Kam.
“Dillon?”
Quickly curling her fingers, she hid the turtle in the palm of her hand.
“I…” Kam’s voice trailed off as she stepped beside her. Their shadows touched, the misshapen lines blurring into a single silhouette, but the physical distance between them felt unsettling.
A long silence passed. Below them, the lights of the pier continued to glitter, a spectacle of bokeh splashed across the black backdrop of the shore.
“I’m sorry,” Kam finally whispered through a shaky breath. “You know none of what she said is true.”
Dillon watched a couple walk hand-in-hand across the sand, disappearing beneath the pilings. “I know.”
“She’s a jealous bitch. She always has been. And I’m sorry I ever let her—”
“Kam.” Dillon interrupted her. She didn’t want to talk about Dani. “I think I’m going to go home for a while.”
From her peripheral, she could see Kam’s entire body stiffen. See her fingers grip the salt-crusted rail. “Please.” The word hung on the verge of tears. “Please, don’t. What happened tonight—”
Dillon couldn’t bring herself to look at her. “It’s not you, Kam. Or even her. Or honestly anything to do with tonight at all. It’s…”
How could she explain? It was so many things she didn’t know how to talk about. Feelings she had to sort through.
It wasn’t new. It was how she felt after her DNF in Yokohama. The same as it had been the Christmas morning she found out Kam would be a Hollywood star. It was the feeling of being told she would never race again after her accident. And the way she felt the day she learned her dad had died.
“I just need a little time.”
She needed to get back to training. She couldn’t focus here. Being with Kam made it too comfortable to forget what she wanted. Too easy to quit on herself.
She’s just a washed-up nobody.
Leeds was five weeks away. At whatever cost, she was going to qualify.
