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There’s a strange comfort in mindlessly following Nero back and forth across the city. All this restless energy I have has to go somewhere, and when I’m too tired to follow him or I lose him, I go home and drink wine in secret before falling exhausted into bed.
On the outside, I maintain the facade of a happily married woman trying her best to have a baby. Day by day I see the tension growing between Laz and Mia. Sooner or later it will all fall apart between him and Mom, and then they can be together. It all seems so romantic between them.
Until suddenly it’s not.
Mom throws a party to celebrate her marriage, and Laz announces to everyone that Mia is pregnant. The announcement comes as a shock even to Mia. She and I leave the party together, and with my arm around her, I can feel her shaking with rage.
“He switched out my birth control,” she tells me. “I couldkillhim.”
We sit anxiously together while we wait for the result of her pregnancy test. It’s positive. Mia’s pregnant. For a moment, I’m so envious I can barely breathe, but I keep it inside because my sister is clearly devastated by this news.
Mia can’t go home. I’m afraid of what Mom will do to her, though as far as I know, she’s only ever hit me and locked me in the basement. I tell Mia that she can stay with me while she figures things out with Laz and to make herself at home while I go pick up some things for us.
I make it into my car and halfway down my driveway before my mask slips, and my broken sobs break free. My life is so empty that I wonder if I even exist.
Someone knocks softly on the driver’s side window. “Rieta, are you okay?”
I lift my head and see that Annie is leaning over to peer into my car. I roll down the window.
“Oh, I’m just… My sister’s having a baby.” I try to smile, but my face collapses into messy tears.
Annie pats my shoulder in sympathy. “Oh, sweetie. Let me get you into the house.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks. Mia’s inside, and she can’t see me upset like this. “No. Not inside. Can we go somewhere else? I need a drink.” My eyes land on nine-year-old Harriet, purple barrettes in her hair and a pastel backpack hanging off her shoulders. “Oh. Never mind. I’ll, um…”
“We can all go,” Annie says warmly. “I know a place. Noah’s at my sister’s playing with his cousins. We can go in my car.”
Annie takes us to a restaurant a few streets away that’s quite chic, but with staff who are relaxed enough not to mind that we have a child with us. Harriet digs colored pencils and paper out of her backpack and starts drawing without needing to be prompted to occupy herself while we talk.
“Every waking moment, she’s drawing,” Annie says, smiling at her daughter. “I think she’s going to be an artist one day.”
She’s lost in motherly pride for a moment before turning to me. “Tell me about your sister. I didn’t know Isabel was seeing anyone.”
The waiter places a large glass of cold white wine in front of me, frosted with moisture. Thank God. I pick it up and swallow down a large mouthful.
“Not Isabel. My other sister, Mia.” Now that Laz has dropped his bombshell, I don’t suppose there’s any point keeping Mia’s secret. I tell Annie everything about my sister’s relationship with our stepfather, though I keep the details vague for Harriet’s sake.
Annie’s eyes grow rounder and rounder. Finally she sits back with a shake of her head. “What a way to announce the pregnancy. Does Laz love her?”
“Until today, I would have said yes without reservation. Now? I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out soon.”
I play with the stem of my wine glass. What do I even know about love?
“It’s going to be so hard seeing Mia and Laz together,” I whisper. “Does that make me a terrible sister?”
Annie starts to assure me that I can’t help the way I feel, but she trails off when someone stops in front of our table. Actually, two someones.
“Is everything all right, Rieta?”
I lift my head at the sound of the familiar voice. Nero is standing over us with someone I presume is a businessassociate, a man with neat, strawberry blond hair, a fair beard, and an expensive-looking suit.
“Oh, yes. Um, Mia’s pregnant.”
There’s an awkward silence. It stretches on and on until Nero’s business associate, clearly desperate for something to break the tension, says to Harriet, “You’re an artist? You’re very good.”
“I’m drawing unicorns,” Harriet says proudly, beaming up at him.
“I can see that. I own a dozen horses. Do you like horses?”
