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Chapter 38 - Jenna
From the moment Lev helped me back into the resort, I thought I was going to pass out. Not just from the stress and my aching head, but because I was terrified Lev somehow knew my involvement in the entire messed up kidnapping.
I had been able to run on adrenaline for the ride back, keeping Mrs. Hardy’s own gun trained on her with steely determination while she pretended to be unconscious. It took quite a bit of self-restraint not to give her a slap or two to make up for my stinging cheeks, but I was just glad no one that mattered to me was dead.
It should have given me pause when Aleks met us on the side of the road, and Max continued on in his car with the two unlucky captives. The look on Max’s face was far too bloodthirsty to trick me into believing he was going to drop them off at their home after a stern lecture. But I didn’t care at all what happened to them, no matter how much I searched my conscience. They had fully meant to kill Lev, and despite getting them to agree to use me as a shield so he wouldn’t come in raining bullets down on them, it was obvious I wasn’t going to make it out alive if they got their way and were able to get rid of Lev.
Of course, I’d only wanted to buy him time to assess the situation and hopefully figure out a way to keep Mrs. Hardy from shooting me in the head, but I’d never dreamed he’d take such a daring shot. The memory of his eyes as his glance skated over me to make sure I was all right, then the way they turned icy cold as they focused, had been a sight to behold.
Even as I was falling to the floor with that screaming harpy, I was filled with pride and gratitude. We were going to get out of there, and it seemed foolish that I ever doubted him.
But now, as we were rushing to the nearest hospital in a car behind Katie and Aleks, the look in his eyes had changed. The concern was still there, and it was clear he was almost as worried as I was about Katie, but there was a distance in them that scared me.
Did he know?
At the hospital, Katie was whisked back to a room, at that point practically yowling like a stray cat from pain. Aleks followed her, leaving Lev and I alone in the waiting area.
“You need to get checked out,” he said gruffly, taking my arm and leading me to the check-in desk.
“I’m fine,” I said for at least the dozenth time, but he took my hand and pressed it lightly against the back of my head.
He lifted a brow when I winced in pain, surprised at the good-sized lump back there and the matted blood in my hair.
“She might have a skull fracture,” he told the nurse behind the counter.
She told us she’d get me back for a scan as soon as possible. It looked like Lev might try to throw his weight around, so I squeezed his hand and dragged him to a seat.
“I’m sure I’ll live for however long it takes them to get a machine ready,” I said, trying to soothe the scowl between his eyes and joke away the dark cloud that seemed to hang over him.
The scowl only deepened, but he sat beside me in one of the hard plastic chairs. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, especially the realization I’d come to about my feelings, but awkwardness took hold, and I could barely look at him. Except for staying close to my side, he made no effort to talk while we waited, and anxiety that he might somehow already know that I set out to betray him gnawed at my stomach.
How could I explain my earlier anger and desire for revenge? Would he understand something like that after growing up in the Bratva, or would he only see it as betrayal? Was I going to lose him right when I decided I wanted to keep him?
Someone called my name, and I stood up, putting my hand on Lev’s shoulder. “Let me go back on my own,” I said. “It won’t take long, and I don’t want you ordering a bunch of unnecessary tests.”
There was a very faint glimmer in his eyes, along with a tiny twitch of his lips since I was right, but he only nodded and stayed in his seat. Had I expected a reassuring hug before I went back? I was disappointed that I didn’t get one, which added to my fears.
“Is there any chance you could be pregnant? The nurse asked once I was in a curtained-off area in the emergency room.
I started to shake my head when it hit me that I absolutely could. I never could stick to the Lev diet, no matter how deep I was in my revenge plan. He was too irresistible and the thought those days might be over because of what I’d done nearly doubled me over.
“Yes,” I said miserably. “There’s a pretty good chance, actually.” Was I hoping?
The nurse gave me a plastic cup and pointed me toward the bathroom. The next few minutes were almost worse than when I was locked in that awful room in the cabin, and when she returned, her face was inscrutable.
“The test was positive,” she said, without a hint of emotion. “Since we’re only scanning your head, it won’t affect the pregnancy.”
My hand went to my stomach without thinking about it, frowning when I heard her impassive voice refer to my baby as ‘the pregnancy.’ I was stunned, unable to follow her as she turned toward the opening in the curtain. Everything in my mind went blank.
“Do you want your… the man outside to accompany you to the scan?” She turned around, looking impatient that I was still resting on the edge of the exam table, staring past her like she didn’t exist.
“No, that’s okay,” I said before she could go find Lev. If he knew about this he’d be storming the halls demanding for me to be admitted for every test imaginable. And there was another reason I didn’t want him to know about this yet, at least until I was cleared.
As I suspected, my skull wasn’t fractured, and I didn’t even need stitches. I made my way back out toward the waiting room, but Lev was pacing in the hall outside the Doctor’s consult room I’d just been in. He pulled me into a long hug, and at first, I relaxed against him, relieved he was no longer acting so oddly distant, but then hit by guilt. A lot of guilt.
“Do you want to go back to the resort and rest?” he asked, rubbing my back.
I didn’t deserve the hug, and worse, I didn’t deserve to be so happy about my new secret. Maybe he didn’t know, and the way he’d been acting before was just concerned about my head injury and about Katie.
