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“Libby and Derik consider you family. Josh even likes your company. And his cranky ass can’t stand anybody. Ashlin would be lost in the library stacks without you. Hell.Iwould be lost without you, Rin.”
He took my drink from me and set it on the coffee table. His voice cracked as he reached for my hands, clasping them within his own. “You’re smart. Beautiful. Your eyes shine like the sky in the early light. Your laugh, your presence, it lights up the room. You bring so much joy to so many people and you don’t even realize it. Erin, you…you are so much more than just my best friend. I know you think I have some big brother complex with you but that couldn’t be further from the truth.” I waited with baited breath.
Seth…
He squeezed my hand. “And what happened with your dad. That wasn’t your fault. You were fourteen. No one knows what the hell happened to him. No one. We’ve looked. My uncle, he looked, searched every nook and cranny before he died. That had nothing to do with you. And you didn’t cause him to run off. That’s on him. Not you. You are not to blame for his actions.”
Tears welled, threatening to flood my eyes. “I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.
Seth moved closer and leaned in. He pulled me close as he rested his chin against the top of my head. “You don’t have to say anything, Rin.”
I nestled into his embrace as his fingers traced circles along my spine. “Thank you.” I sniffed, my lip pouting.
He let out a soft chuckle. “Anytime, Sweetheart.” He swiped his thumb across my cheek.
My lip wobbled.
Seth moved his thumb under my chin, tilting my face up towards his. “Rin, you really are drunk, aren’t you?”
I quickly nodded my head as a sob escaped my lips.
His eyes softened and he reached his arms around me. “Why don’t we head to bed? You want me to carry you to your room?”
I nodded my head and added, “Can I sleep with you, tonight? Please? With Libby not here, it… it feels empty in there.” It was a partial lie. We’ve grown close over the last month and a half. I was getting used to being around her bubbly energy and I found that I missed it, even if just for a night. And…I didn’t want to sleep alone. Not with everything in my system.
I didn’t want to risk the fears and pains I shoved down threatening to make themselves known.
Seth hadn’t responded. I pulled back, and looked up to find him staring at me. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, Rin. Not at all,” he paused; a faint smile grazed the corner of his mouth, almost sad. “You’re always welcome, anytime you need.”
Chapter thirty-five
Erin
It was like déjà vu. I awoke to eardrum-shattering snoring, only to realize it was Seth.
And I was laying in his bed. Again.
I panicked and threw the blankets off of me, terrified to find what might be underneath, considering the situation. I breathed a sigh of relief when I found myself in the same clothes as the night before, my black skinny jeans and long sleeve from training. I was just minus a hoodie and shoes. No panties or bra missing. I glanced over to see Seth still passed out, fully clothed and snoring like a motherfucker.
I nudged him and whispered, “Seth. Seth! Wake up,” he grumbled and turned on his side to where his back was facing me. I nudged him with my foot. “Dude.” I hissed. He responded with a groan. I huffed, frustrated and needed answers. I swatted the back of his head.
“Ugh, what? What’s the emergency, can’t a guy get some shut eye?” he grumbled.
“Seth!” I growled.
He flopped over, facing me, his eyes squinted, and glared at me. “What?”
“Did we sleep together?”
He blinked at me, processing. Then groaned and rolled back over. “No, Rin. You’d know if we slept together.” He began snoring again within seconds.
I blew out a sigh of relief. “Thank fuck,” I whispered under my breath. The thundering in my chest slowed.
I slid out of Seth’s bed and crept to his door, slowly cracking it open. It creaked and I winced, looking over my shoulder to see if he was still asleep. He snored in response. I tiptoed my way out to the kitchen and scavenged through the pantry for the coffee grounds before dumping them in the coffee machine, set to strong brew. I might not get hangovers, but Seth sure as hell did.
While it brewed, I padded to the guest room and grabbed my laptop, determined to knock out some of my schoolwork revolving around Jensin’s class. I pulled the notes up from the online course and browsed. I scrolled through pages upon pages, finding nothing worthwhile.
