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“What do you know?”
Kang gave her the naughty smile of a child stealing sweets. “I know the tunnels better than Master Yu thinks. Getting lost in the passageways all those years of running errands might prove useful after all.”
Xifeng hesitated. She couldn’t deny the desire to be in Wei’s arms again, in spite of all the risks they would take. “I’ll consider it, my friend. Thank you.”
He walked her back to the balcony. “I’ll have a plan for you... if you need it,” he said, mincing away with a roguish wink.
She pressed her hands against the scroll, and despite her doubts and misgivings, she wondered if her fortune might at last be changing for the better.
On the eve of the first festival day, Xifeng went to the Empress’s apartments to deliver her sewing before supper. Earlier, she had helped carry Her Majesty’s ceremonial clothing to the palace laundresses, who steamed each piece above boiling pots of fragrant lemon-mint water.
As she walked, she admired the festival decorations: pink paper blossoms adorning the railings, bright silks draped over doorways, and chrysanthemums in overflowing pots. At the Empress’s command, the eunuchs had brought out even more lanterns to hang on the trees surrounding the palace, so it seemed the Great Forest itself would partake in the festivities.
Xifeng entered the royal apartments, and her mouth went dry when she saw Empress Lihua slumped over the table. The woman’s face was ashen as two maids fluttered about in distress, fanning her.
“Your Majesty,” Xifeng gasped, wondering if something had happened to the baby. She glared at the maids. “Stop scurrying about like that. Ifyou haven’t anything better to do, put away these clothes. Bring cool water and a cloth.” She enjoyed the way they cowered as she snatched the fan and waved it over the Empress’s fevered face.
“Don’t worry,” the Empress said faintly. “I’m often this way after a visit from Lady Sun.”
Xifeng’s fingers tightened on the fan. “What did she want?”
“Much of the same. Things to increase her importance: my ladies-in-waiting, part of my living quarters, and my place at the Emperor’s side during the festival.”
As though His Majesty had put his wife aside already. Wrath and a powerful craving squeezed Xifeng’s gut.
“She accused me of pretending to be pregnant so I could keep my husband’s favor.” A tear slid down the Empress’s face. Her distress curled fingers around Xifeng’s heart. “I know I shouldn’t let her upset me, but to spread such malicious gossip about my child...”
“Don’t listen to her evil words, Your Majesty. She is remorseless and wicked, and a time will come when her deeds turn against her.”
“I’ve lost so many babies, born too soon. She knows it and hopes to turn the Emperor against me.” The Empress closed her eyes, and Xifeng wondered if Lady Sun was the only cause of her sickly pallor. “Will you sit with me a while? It is such a comfort to know you’re here.”
Her words dissolved every thought of Kang and his warnings. There was only this moment, here and now, as Xifeng took the Empress’s icy hand in both of hers. “I won’t leave you,” she vowed, her heart singing inside her.
“I should be thankful when the gods have given me so much,” the Empress said in a voice full of endless sadness. “I was my parents’ only child, and they did not deem me fit to rule, as few other women in myline have been. But they gave me a strong, good husband. It seems I lost myself when I lost him.” She closed her eyes in grief. “People only see what I wear, what I eat, and the servants that surround me. They don’t know I’d gladly trade places with a peasant, the only wife and mother to her husband and children. Do you think me ungrateful?”
Xifeng squeezed her hand in mute pity, though she couldn’t help noting the irony. She had refused that life when Wei offered it to her—a life for which the Empress of Feng Lu longed. “We can’t choose what we are given,” she said gently. “But your child will be fortunate to have you for a mother.” She imagined a roly-poly baby, deeply loved and wanted, and felt a stab of jealousy that faded when the Empress patted her cheek.
“Do you think so?”
“I never knew my mother, but I imagine she might have been like you.”
The Empress’s eyes shone. “And I imagine if I have a daughter, she might be like you.”
Underneath the overwhelming rush of joy, Xifeng recoiled. She rose and began to fan the Empress to hide her shock as a mocking voice echoed from within her ribs.
She wouldn’t say that if she knew what you truly are. She wouldn’t say that if she knew her end is your beginning.
A maid reappeared with water and a cloth, and Xifeng rose, grateful for the distraction. She dabbed at the Empress’s forehead, trying to quell the knot of dread in her chest. Up close, Her Majesty’s ill health was even more apparent and pronounced; her skin, tinged with gray, was thin and fragile, like parchment. She noticed a constellation of white hairs at the woman’s temples, like a crown, and longed to stoop and kiss them and smooth the lines of worry from her face as a daughter would. Not once had she ever imagined doing so with Guma.Her end is yourbeginning.Guma had never told her how it might come to be, supplanting the Emperor’s wife.
The knot above her rib cage throbbed again, painfully, and she gasped for breath.
“Are you all right, Xifeng?”
The Empress’s eyes stared up at her—eyes that had to close before her own could open to the throne of Feng Lu.
“It’s a bit warm. Let me open a window for you.” Xifeng crossed the room and slid open a bamboo panel, gulping in the fresh air. Had Guma meant for her to be a killer? To end the life of this good, gentle woman, whose only crime was being born to the crown meant for Xifeng?
Behind her, Empress Lihua rose. “I must rest for my journey. Tomorrow, I make my pilgrimage to my private shrine in the forest.”
