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“I know! I saw that! We should have more sleepover parties, huh?”
“Yeah,” Max giggled.
Fuck, I was so thankful he was okay. I held him close, breathing in his scent and listening to the beat of his little heart. Then I started to break down in tears again, the fear I had that I’d never hold my little guy in my arms ever again was peaking.
“You okay?” Max asked, patting my cheek as he looked at my eyes.
“I’m okay,” I assured him. “I just love you so much.”
“I wuv you too,” Max smiled, like it was no big deal that he had just told me he loved me.
I squeezed him again, then looked down at where West had woken up and was watching us. He smiled, but it was a sad and distant reaction. He was still reeling as well, still feeling the effects of the night. Once I knew my girl and Max were going to be okay, I committed to making sure West would be as well.
My big brother stood and looked over my shoulder, then back to me. He didn’t have to say anything for me to know Jesse was there at the end of the hallway, watching.
“Hey Max,” West clapped. “I’m West, how’re you?”
“I fine.”
“I’m Easton’s brother. I think Easton has some waffles in the freezer. You want to come make some with me?”
Max was hesitant, as he usually was with strangers, but to my shock—and Jesse’s—he nodded and slid down from my arms. West led Max to the kitchen, giving Jesse and me some time alone.
“You okay?” I swallowed, barely able to even say the words. Of course she wasn’t okay.
“I will be,” she nodded.
Last night, I was in so much shock and filled with so much emotion, that I hadn’t realized that she was wearing my t-shirt.I moved closer to her, pulling her into a hug as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
“You’re in my shirt.”
“I couldn't wait any longer to show you what I made for you. Max and I had to come over, and when you weren’t here, I decided to wait.”
“I’m so glad you did. Had you been home, had you…”
“It's okay,” she tried to assure me, but her words were trembling. “I came here. I needed to be near you again. My need to tell you I love you too brought me here last night and kept Max and me safe.”
“You love me?”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “So much. And I’m so scared.”
“No,” I shook my head, bending so she could see directly into my eyes. “Don’t be scared of this. After how scared I was at the thought of losing you and Max, I know we can’t waste time being scared of love.”
“You’re right,” she smiled, but with pain still in her eyes. “No more pushing you away. No more fighting a clearly hopeless fight.”
We hugged again, soaking in the fact that we were touching. But Jesse pulled back quickly and held up one finger. “Don’t move.”
As she walked away toward the kitchen, I noticed how limp her shoulders were and how frail her body looked. She was so sad, but trying so hard not to fall apart again.
When she returned, she had a waffle in her hands and she gave it to me before holding my other hand and guiding me toward the main bathroom. She reached into the shower and turned it on, then ran her hands up my arms.
“Eat,” she pointed at the waffle. I took a bite, then realized how hungry I must have been as I felt the food hit the bottom of my stomach. “Max and West are good for a bit. You’re hungry,you’re dirty, you’re tired, and you need to know that I’m okay. Let’s help each other be okay.”
Unlike her small shower, mine was huge. It was something I had custom done, and was quite proud of. We had never been in a shower together, but I could tell as she waited for me to eat my waffle that it was her intention to join me under the hot water.
Still clothed, she led me under the spray, adjusting the temperature just enough so it was perfect. Then she ran her hands up my stomach and inched my shirt up over my head.
I did the same to her, peeling my old HHFD shirt off her and tossing it into the corner. Then we finished undressing one another until we were both naked and staring into each other’s eyes.
