Page 88 of The Love We Make
Because he has always been, and will always be, the one black spot I have in my vision.
He’s a lesson the universe is intent on me learning the hard way.
“I’m so stupid.” Grumbling, I look down at the heels I still wear. The pantyhose that irritate me by the end of each long day. The skirt that makes it difficult for me to walk far, fast. And then the blouse that is like butter on my flesh.
I look professional. Educated. Successful, even. Though anyone who knows me, knows I spend my time chasing a socially inept, belligerent, and withdrawn medical examiner around her building and hope my nagging doesn’t eventually translate to unemployment.
The joke is on me, I’m certain.
Arriving on the third floor, I turn at the landing and continue up.
Why?
I have no friggin’ clue.
What do I intend to say when I get there?
See my previous answer.
I should just turn around and leave.
And yet, I can’t.
I can’t have spent time with sweet Mia Fletcher this past year and know, once again, her mom is back to mess things up. I’m not that chick. The jealous shrew on the side who can’t handle when a man and his ex-wife rekindle a relationship. I swear, that’s not me. But I can’t go home tonight without checking in, at least. Making sure Mia is fine. Ensuring she’s guarded from the poison I’ve witnessed her mother spew firsthand these last few months.
And yet, my bravery makes way for a skittering heart and a stomach that whooshes with nerves as I come closer to his floor.
Is he home?
Is she?
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher. Can I speak to your four-year-old in private for a moment? I’d like to make sure she’s safe while her parents continue their toxic relationship. And since I’m here, can I speak to Charlie, too? Alone. Because I’m not sure he’s strong enough to say no when his former abuser is in the room.
“Goddddddd,” I groan, stopping on the second to last step and fighting every instinct pumping through my blood that demands I turn my ass around.
But then an apartment door swings wide to reveal a harried Charlie Fletcher carrying a bag of trash in one hand and tugging the door closed with the other.
My breath comes to a dead standstill. Because I’m standing right here, but for a moment, just a single second in time, he doesn’t know it.
His cheeks are a little red, like he’s been running nonstop and his blood flows too warm. His eyes are drawn and tired. His jaw is stubbled, and though that’s his usual look, it seems messier. Not his typical roguish and sexy.
He wears the same jeans he was in earlier. And a button-up shirt, though the buttons are unfastened. He wears a white tank beneath, the ends untucked from his belt, when that’s not how he would present himself at work.
He’s the same as he was this morning, and yet… not.
And the not is because of a phone call he took earlier.
“Charlie?”
He startles and almost drops his bag of trash, reaching for the gun he would normally wear but isn’t right now. Slightly long hair flops around when he moves, draping over his brow and touching the stress lines that are rarely noticeable on the goofy detective’s skin.
He prefers to smile. To joke and make those around him smile, too.
“Sera?” Breath shuddering, his honey-colored eyes sweep me up and down, from my heels to the top of my mahogany hair. But then they drop to the bear I hold in my hands. The reddish-pink Care Bear I selected from dozens of others at the kid’s store after I left work today.
Mia Fletcher has a selection of them already. But I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have this one. So I wanted her to know I care about her. That I’m always here.
The problem is, if her mom and dad are getting back together, the chances of me ever seeing the girl again are slim to none. Especially considering the venom Jada enjoys tossing my way when Charlie isn’t around.