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She stalked out of the bunker like a platoon on a rush. I looked from Zar to Tanner. The last time I’d seen those grim frowns on their faces, we’d just been hit by a mortar attack and Carlos was dead. Fuck this. It was time to tackle theheavyshit.
Chapter30
Nina
I spent Friday in the quiet of my room, trying to work through the emotions tearing apart my heart. I wasn’t a total fool. I recognized the guys’ good intentions. They’d wanted to keep me safe and they’d protected my friends and family. I was gratefulforthat.
But I wasn’t a weak, illogical creature. I had a right to make my own decisions and trust was a two-way street. I was strong. I could stand on my own and I wasn’t going to stick around as the weak link of any team. Which brought up the final point breaking my heart. Dimayev was caught, but they hadn’t asked me to stay. A few more days, a couple more weeks, I could’ve used more time with them to prepare for the inevitable. But they hadn’t asked, and that hurt,alot.
Tanner knocked on my door, but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t need consolation, or adoration, or liberation right now. I needed to figure this out and find the strength to walk out of their lives. By the time Saturday afternoon came around, I was resigned. Things were not going to change. I had to go back to San Francisco and pick up my old life where I’d left it. One advantage, I had a job if I wanted it. But Boston wasn’t Montana and everything seemed pointless withouttheguys.
From my balcony, I watched them down by the river, fly fishing at dawn. Fishing was something they loved to do, but it was also the way they coped with life. My soul cracked into three jagged slivers. I was going tomissthem.
But before I left, I was going to follow through on the things I had to do. I refused to risk Aiden’s recovery. Plus, Tanner needed a date and I was it. And I had one last thing I needed to do for Zar before my work here was done. So I sucked it up and got ready to go to the wedding, even if all I wanted to dowascry.
I took a shower then cloistered myself in my room. I did my makeup and curled my hair. Call me vain, but my cobalt halter dress looked good. I liked the way the satin fabric and the pleated waist hugged my body. The deep V neck was sexy without being vulgar and the breezy chiffon skirt showcased my legs. I took a deep breath and steeled myself. All and all, I was ready to tackle my last mission inMontana.
I walked down the stairs but stopped short by the French doors. The guys were sharing a drink on the deck, a wall of tall bodies and broad backs framed by the glorious mountains and the spectacular canyon. They turned in unison when I stepped out. The sheer vision of them dressed in their finest hit me like a clobber to the senses. My breath caught in my throat. They were each magnificent, but alsotogether.
It was obvious they’d primped for the occasion. They all wore black tuxes. Tanner stood in the middle, sporting a patterned gray vest and a matching silk kerchief tucked in his front pocket, straight out of an Armani catalogue. Zar leaned against the railing, scrumptious in a black shirt and vest, decked with an intricately silver-braided bolo tie, the epitome of Western elegance. Aiden wore a dark Mandarin collar tuxedo over gray striped trousers, a crisp white shirt and a black cravat tucked into a black vest. The biggest shock was his face. A fresh shave had vanished his facial hair and given way to the stunning planes of his cheeks and chin. His lustrous brown hair hung loose to just above his shoulders, slicked away from hisforehead.
Holy crap. I had to steady my knees. These guys cleaned up scorching hot. How the hell was I supposed to find the strength to walk awayfromthem?
They were staring at me with looks that ranged from admiration toalarm.
“What?” I looked down on my dress. “Toomuch?”
“No way.” Tanner’s mouth formed into a grin that seemed to spread to Aiden and Zar’s lips. “Perfect. All of you. Tonight, I’m gonna be the envy of every hot-blooded male at the wedding and quite a fewwomen.”
“Amen to that.” Aiden looked to Zar. “Youpacking?”
“I’m always packing.” Zar’s famished stare remained glued to my body. “Which is a good thing, if we’re gonna keep therabbleaway.”
I let out a nervous titter but then thought better of it, because, face it, we were talking about Zar. “You guys are not really armed,areyou?”
Zar’s sexy grin destabilized my molecules. “Tothehilt.”
The sex vibes flowing between us made me dizzy with want. My thong’s delicate lace had to be melting between my legs. I wanted them. All three of them. My determination wavered. My body and my heart mutinied against mybrain.
Zar rapped on the railing. “Heads up.” He collected the tumblers from the others and set them aside. “We’ve got a wedding to get to.Tanner?”
“Ah, yes.” Tanner blinked away the need I felt so torridly in my lower belly. “Before we go…” He hesitated, then pushed on. “We have something to saytoyou.”
“Stop.” The words hurt as I said them. “I’m leaving tomorrow and you can’tchangethat.”
Zar’s scowl made me wince. Aiden’s eyes turned into dark, muddy pools. Tanner reached out for me, but I took a step back. If he touched me again, if any of them made contact with my combustible self, I may never be able towalkaway.
“Nina, please, listen to us.” Tanner took a deep breath. “We’re sorry we kept information from you. We did it, not because we thought you were weak, but because you’re strong and competent and we worried you’d take matters into your own hands and risk your life. It was probably the wrongdecision…”
I raised an eyebrow. “Probably?”
“Okay, it was the wrong decision, but give us some credit. We did it for the right reasons. I’m sorry if our actions hurt your feelings.Wearesorry.”
The humility I spotted in their eyes began to dissolve the fury in me. The honesty almost undid me. My anger began to crumble block byblock.
“There’s something else,” Zar said. “We wanted you to be fully vested with our team, but we were limited by our classified designation and our partnership with the Feds. We had to follow securityprotocols.”
Zar was right and my reality as an ex-con was never going tochange.
