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“No. Elroy hurt me. You gave me hope. We made plans to escape. To get away so we could be normal.” She raised her gaze to his. “After you disappeared, they did the same thing with Caden—made me act like a submissive in front of him. But Caden didn’t react the same way you did.”
Weston’s stomach started to knot.
“Caden took the cane and finished the punishment,” she said.
Weston shook his head. “He probably didn’t realize he could—”
“Wes, I never loved him.”
He froze in shock.
“God help me,” she went on. “But I could never love him.”
“What?”
“Caden protected me by collaring me. It wasn’t a ruse. It wasn’t a game. He owned me.”
Weston’s whole body flushed cold with shock. “No, no.”
“Since before I graduated high school, I’ve been his submissive. His slave, even if he never used the word. Caden believed in the lifestyle. When he spoke, I obeyed or I was punished. We went to clubs, we did scenes, because that’s what Caden wanted. And when he wasn’t fucking me in public, using me as a prop while he demonstrated the correct technique for a whip, or maintaining my training, we were running around the country doing whatever your parents wanted, because it was the only thing we could do to protect Tabby.”
Tears tracked down Rose’s face.
“Caden told me he loved me every day. And I never once said it back. I couldn’t. Because I didn’t love him, and never could.”
“Rose, Rose…” This couldn’t be.
“I never could because he treated me the same way they did.” Her chest rose and fell with a shuddering breath. “And because I never stopped loving you. One of my ways of escaping the pain was to daydream. I’d imagine that you hadn’t died. That you’d come back for me. That I’d be free, and safe, and loved.” Her voice broke. “And no one would hurt me anymore.”
Weston couldn’t stand it—he dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead against her thighs. He wanted to grab her and hug her, but he wouldn’t do that—he wouldn’t restrain or constrict her. Not after what she’d just told him.
He pictured Rose the way she had been that horrible night in the kitchen—terrified, ashamed, trembling with fear. He remembered the way she’d bitten down on her cheek so hard she spat blood over the counter when she’d started begging for mercy. And then he imagined Caden taking up the cane rather than freeing her. How hopeless, and powerless, she must have felt.
“I’m so sorry, so sorry.” He ground out the words. “Sorry I didn’t know. Sorry I didn’t come back. Sorry I— Oh God, I used bondage cuffs on you.” He’d thought he was so smart, picking something she’d be comfortable with and that wouldn’t raise any red flags if his internet purchases were being tracked. Instead he’d been tapping into a lifetime of fear and abuse. “I thought that would be easier for you. Familiar. I thought you were upset because it was me, not Caden, using them.”
“It’s too late now,” Rose said quietly. “I am what they made me. You saw it—when I hear an order, I obey. Like a whipped dog who responds to commands.”
“I would never, never have spoken to you that way if I’d known.” Weston dared to tip his face up.
She was looking down at him. Her eyes were luminous, her face pale.
“I never stopped loving you,” he said.
“I’m not that girl anymore. She died, the same day you did.”
Weston sat back on his heels, bowed his head, and started to weep, for the second time today. Before now, he hadn’t shed a tear in years.
“And now you know my secret,” she said. “I never loved Caden, but he was…he was all I had. I went numb when he died, and losing him hurts. But it doesn’t feel the same way it did when I lost you.”
Weston wiped his face and looked up. “I’ll…no, we’ll stop them.”
Rose shook her head. “I can’t face them. Elroy and Barton continued to use me up until about seven years ago.”
He’d thought it couldn’t get worse. Foolish. It could always get worse. “But, but Caden…”
“They used me to motivate him, for the times when the threat to Tabby was too vague.”
Weston stared at her. “All these years…why didn’t you run?”
