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“But why did you leave if you love them so much?” Mom asks, her expression bewildered.
“They lied to me,” I explain. “And manipulated me into moving in with them. But it wasn’t real. Well, it was, and it wasn’t…” Trailing off, I shake my head. It was real, I know that—it just wasn’t healthy.
Mom remains quiet while I wash my face, doing my best not to look like someone who’s just cried her eyes out. Once I feel okay being seen again, we find a table in the restaurant and order lunch—at least Mom does. I only want the chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and an extra large chocolate shake.
While we wait for the food in silence, I can feel Mom’s eyes resting on me, and I don’t blame her for being worried. Not after the meltdown I just had. “Is it better to be on your own?” she asks curiously.
Furrowing my brows, I ponder the question before answering. “In some ways,” I say, finding it hard to explain how I really feel when I can’t tell her our entire story. “But I…”
Fuck it, I might as well go for broke here and tell my mom the uncensored version of what’s happened since November up until now. I wait until the food and drinks arrive before I start my sordid tale.
“Luce and I had an argument back in November,” I start. “I left the apartment and moved in with Jamie. That’s when I found out I was one of the teachers to get fired effective starting in January. It hit me a lot harder than I thought it would, and I became depressed.”
Mom nods, but stays silent. She knows me well enough to know I’m only getting started.
“He helped me get some anti-depressants, which, ironically, is the reason I became pregnant.” Knowing I’m getting ahead of myself, I force myself to go back. I can’t look at her while I tell her about signing up for Cupid’s Court. “I had my first job on New Year’s,” I whisper, nervously looking around to make sure no one is listening.
“Go on,” Mom urges, smiling softly at me while she eats.
So I do; I tell her how often they booked me, and how I fell in love with them. But when I get to the part about not telling them about the pregnancy right away, she presses her lips together, a clear show of her disapproval.
“Oh, Gail,” she sighs, taking my hand.
“I know, I know,” I sigh. Then I move on to how it went down when I finally did tell them, and we all found out each other’s identities. “I swear I didn’t know, Mom. I mean, I guess I kind of hoped, but that felt more like a fantasy, not something that could happen for real.”
She hisses—honest to God hisses—when I explain that they locked me up, and how the owner and Dr. Patel treated me.
The entire story takes so long we’re both done eating, and Mom’s ordered a third glass of wine by the time I finally reach the events that led to my decision to leave them. She listens just as intently as she did when I started, making noises of approval and disapproval as I tell her literally everything.
“That’s quite the story,” she says once I’m done. “But I still have one question.”
“Okay… shoot?”
She leans back in her seat, crossing one leg over the other. “From what I can understand, you’ve all three made your share of mistakes and caused your share of hurt.” That’s a fair observation. “Are you happier without them? Because what I witnessed in the bathroom was heartbreak of the purest kind.”
“W-what?” I stutter, not sure I follow. Truthfully, I expected my mom to be disgusted by me, ashamed even. I never thought she’d sit here and casually discard all the sordid details to discuss my feelings.
Apparently able to read my mind, Mom smirks and says, “I’m not going to pretend you haven’t shocked the bejesus out of me, Gail. You have. But you’re my daughter, and I love you. Nothing is going to change that. Sure, I’d love it if you’d made different choices, but it’s your life to live. As long as you can live with it all, I can too.”
I’m so stunned I can’t move, can’t even look away from my mom as she sits there, all calm and so filled with love I can feel it in the freaking air. Talk about unwavering love and support.
“I’m not happier,” I say, answering her question. “But I feel like I need to do this. I need to find myself so I can be the best version of myself for Fet.” I’m pretty much repeating what I wrote in my letter to Mickey and Soren, which proves that I meant it then, and I still mean it now.
We continue to talk; Mom giving me her advice and promising she won’t tell any of this to Dad. If she did, I don’t think I could ever sit across from him at the dinner table again. Just no.
As it becomes time to leave, Mom waves the waiter over and asks for the bill. When it arrives, she smirks and points at me. “Now that I know how you’ve made your money, I have a pretty good idea of how much you’ve earned. You’re paying.” I burst out laughing and hand my credit card over to the waiter, signing the receipt as he returns with it after swiping my card.
Leaving the restaurant, we go to another end of the mall, one with jewelry, shoes, handbags, and those kinds of items. It hangs unspoken between us that we stay as far away from pregnancy stuff as possible.
We stay for so long I end up taking an Uber back to Jamie’s instead of having Mom drive me. Now that she knows who Fet’s dads are, she wants to watch the game as well.
Back at Jamie’s, the Sabertooths’ emblem is already blazing across the screen, the roar of the crowd a stark contrast to the shops’ tranquility. Jamie hands me a beer, non-alcoholic of course, and I sink into the couch beside him, the fabric enveloping me like an old friend.
“Did you have fun with Mom?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I reply, peeling the sticker off the bottle. “I told her everything.”
At my admission, he chokes on the swig he just took, sputtering so hard I consider whether I need to somehow help him. “You did what?” he sputters.
