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“Sorry, not sorry,” he says with a light chuckle. He gets up and walks over to his walk-in closet. “You could wear these?” He holds out a pair of black boxer briefs, still chuckling.
I roll my eyes, stride over to him, and snatch them from his hands. “Thank you!”
“So, you’re going to stay for that drink now?” His mouth pulls up at the corner into a mischievous smile while I pull on his underwear.
“Yes,” I reply, shaking my head, my own smirk plastered across my face. “Coffee, please.”
Walking over to the kitchen, I sit down on a stool at the marble countertop and place my cell down. He makes us both a strong Italian coffee the old-fashioned way, using a percolator on the stovetop. I inhale deeply as the coffee starts to brew. The aroma of coffee reaches deep down, touching my soul. Blaze leans his hips against the counter and stares at me with those deep, dark eyes that send a shiver down my spine. He breaks the silence first.
“Sorry for being a little bit eager before.” There’s a stern look in his eyes as if he is urging me to understand.
“That’s okay. It wasn’t even that bad.” I give a slight one-shouldered shrug.
“Lake,” he starts, a serious look on his face again. “I’m not sure we can continue doing this. Whenever I’m near you, it’s like I can’t breathe. I feel as though I literally want to crawl deep inside you and never come out. I want to live inside you. I become animalistic. I want, noneed,to hurt you while I’m fucking you. I know it’s messed up, but there’s something inside you that calls to something inside me.” He looks down at something on the floor, ashamed.
“Blaze, I told you nobody has ever given me the violence I need in the bedroom. Do you realize what you did to me in there?” I explain, pointing over to his bedroom door. Boy, he is totally oblivious to how messed upIreally am. He tilts his head up, looking at me from beneath his brows.
“I’ve never told anybody this before because I didn’t even really come to the realization until this started happening.” I flick my hand between us a couple of times. “But I actually get off on being hurt while being pleasured. The more dangerous or the more painful the experience, the stronger the orgasm is for me. And it only fully occurred to me before when you were inside me and held your hand around my throat. That right there was the most mind-blowing orgasm I haveeverhad.” I finish my spiel as he pours our coffees and walks around the island to place it in front of me, sitting beside me.
“Thank you.” I accept the coffee mug from him and stare into it, too nervous to look up at him, afraid I’ll see shock or disgust on his face.
Instead, he grabs my face in his hands and crushes his mouth against mine.
Resting his forehead against mine with his eyes closed, he whispers, “We’re both a little sadistic.” I nod in agreement. He moves back to pull his chair closer, sitting so our arms are touching, and I return my attention to my coffee. Sipping the hot brew, I glance down at my cell and notice that light isstill on. Frowning, I press the home button again to see if I’ve accidentally made a call. Nope, still no active call. That odd green light is getting annoying.
I swing my legs toward Blaze so I’m facing him.
“So, if this is going to progress into something else, I feel like I should know a little bit more about you. I mean, it’s only fair since you know literally everything about me now, inside and out,” I say to him, taking another sip of this delicious coffee.
“What do you want to know?” he asks, turning his body to face me.
“Tell me about your family, where are your parents?” I try to make light conversation but almost instantly regret it. His entire body language shifts, shoulders stiffening. I can see his internal war as he debates whether or not to tell me whatever it is he is thinking.
He takes a few deep breaths as though he is trying to prepare himself for something before releasing a long sigh, apparently resigning himself to giving me more.
Chapter Seventeen
Blaze
My past is in the past, which is why I’ve tried to keep it locked away for so long. I’ve tried not to let what I’ve done or what I’m capable of define who I am as a person. I’m stronger than that now. Mentally, I’m in total control. If I don’t keep myself in check, shit could get unbelievably bad for a lot of people.
Mostly for me.
They would lock me up in the deepest depths of the rottenest prison and throw away the key.
Lake looks at me as though she understands, with an expression dripping in empathy as she realizes my parents are no longer with us, almost as though she regrets asking the question. Her face drops in apology for making me remember that they are no longer in my life, but that’s not what the struggle is about.
It’s about rememberinghowI lost them.
I take a deep breath, then exhale hard. If I am going to be a part of this gorgeous woman’s life, even if I just end up being her full-time bodyguard, I need to open up to her.
“Lake, there are people in this world who are monsters. They are the ones who hurt children and animals. The ones who hurt women. Those monsters exploit their strength and power and use it against those who cannot defend themselves,” I start, my mouth going dry. Her eyes don’t move from my face, making me feel exposed. “I’m not much better than those monsters. Back before I met Enzo, I killed one of those monsters, Lake.”
“I’m no stranger to the evils of this world, Blaze. I haven’t been sheltered completely,” she remarks, looking a little concerned at the pain I feel for killing a real-world monster.
“Well, they deserved it, and it was such a long time ago, butit is something I have to live with every day.” I hesitate before finishing my confession. “Lake, I killed my dad.”
Her eyes grow wide, so I continue laying it all out for her.
