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“Tilly’s going back to the city.”
“What? Why?”
I could hear Phil and Chris in the background, mumbling to find out what was going on.
“Bryan’s left town and headed back to the city. I suppose I should be happy that our ruse worked. Besides, she got offered a big promotion, so she’s going back for that.”
“What?” Joey exclaimed, clearly surprised by my words.
“Listen. You guys have a good night. Everything’s fine.”
Half an hour later, a truck headed down the track, and Joey, Chris, and Phil piled out, each carrying six packs of beer.
“I hope one of you isn’t drinking,” I piped up.
Chris raised his hand. “That would be me.”
“Good.”
While at first, the guys were understanding and sympathetic, it soon became clear that they thought I was out of my mind and had no reservations about telling me so.
“You’re an idiot, Jake,” Phil said.
“What?” I balked.
“Don’t you get it?” he continued.
I looked at him and shrugged. “Get what? You’re going to have to be a little bit more specific.”
“You know, for a smart guy, you can be really dumb sometimes,” Chris jumped in.
“Thanks, guys,” I replied sarcastically. “Your moral support is making me feel so much better.”
Phil rolled his eyes and shook his head. “She was waiting for you to tell her to stay, you idiot.”
But I wasn’t buying that. “Nah. Tilly’s pretty upfront. Why would she hold back on something so important?”
Joey shrugged. “Maybe because you never actually told her how you feel. That you’re still in love with her after all this time.”
I looked at Joey, and then my eyes moved to Phil and Chris. All three of them were nodding at me. Was I still in love with her? Of course I was. I’ve known it for more than a week, even if I haven’t admitted it to myself.
“But she looked happy about her promotion,” I argued. “She looked like she was ready to get back in there. I couldn’t tell her.”
“Why not?” Joey pressed.
“Because I didn’t want her to stay just for me. We had a long talk the night of the hoedown. We cleared a lot of stuff up, and one of the things she specifically said was that the reason she hadn’t told me how she felt all those years ago was because she knew I would convince her to stay.”
Chris shook his head. “That was then, man. This is not the same.”
While the guys spent another hour trying to convince me otherwise, I still struggled to believe their conclusions. In the end, the subject changed naturally, and an hour later, they all headed home.
Last night was the worst night’s sleep I’ve had in years, and this morning, I woke up feeling like I haven’t slept at all. Maybe it’s all the doubt my closest friends and brother have left kicking around my head.
I head downstairs, and the place feels weird. She was only actually living here for a few days, but for the last few weeks, Tilly’s presence put some life back into this old house. I miss her soft scent, her giggly laugh, and her quick wit. But she’s gone now, and I’m going to have to get used to things going back to the way they were.
Chris’s words ring in my ear.
That was then, man. This is not the same.
