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“The perfect job for me is one that keeps me in Harborview. With you. I told you I wasn’t leaving again, Angel, and I meant it.”
He says this with such conviction that the fear drains out of me. But it’s replaced by a feeling I can’t name—deep unease, like something just isn’t right.
But the look on Carter’s face is so earnest and open, so kind and loving. It’s like he’s just waiting for me to tell him that he’s made the right decision, that everything is fine between us.
And I want him to keep being happy, to keep looking at me like that, so that’s exactly what I do.
36
ANGELA
“Where do you want the chili?”my mama asks. “I can put it in the fridge or heat some up for you right now?”
Carter had to work on his dissertation today, so after a long morning of eating waffles, drinking coffee, and having slow, glorious sex with him, I left his house and came home to find my mama waiting for me with a car full of food. I’ve already told her three times that I’m all better, but she doesn’t want me to have to cook while I’m “healing.” And frankly, she’s a great cook so I’m not complaining that much.
“In the fridge is good. I had a big breakfast with Carter.”
“Good, I’m glad that boy is taking care of you. But how are you feeling? Have you heard anything from work?” My mama’s face looks concerned.
“I’m okay, I promise. And HR emailed me this morning. Tony’s been placed on leave while they investigate his management practices.” I take a deep breath and continue, “And they want me to fill in for him.”
I did a fist pump and let out a cheer when I heard the news that he was being investigated. Then I immediately texted Aline, who proceeded to send me a minute long voice note of herself whooping.
“Well hallelujah for that,” my mama says. “To both parts.” She must notice the hesitant look on my face because she asks, “Please tell me you’re taking it. Honey, you’ll be a great charge nurse.”
“I know,” I say, pushing my nerves and hesitance down. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and be bold. I may not like being the center of attention, but I think I could be a damn good leader. “That’s why I said yes. I’m a bit worried but hey, there’s no way I could be worse than Tony, right?”
“You’ll be a hell of a lot better than him.” My mama gives me a firm nod, and then a smile.
“Thanks,” I say. “It’ll be a struggle getting some of the other nurses to pull their weight, but I know I can count on Aline, now.”
We chat for a few more minutes about the charge nurse job and then I tell her that I’m going to work on some art for the rest of the day.
“I haven’t heard you say that in a while,” my mama says. She slides the last of the glass containers into the fridge, and sits across from me at the small kitchen table.
“My trip to Isle North inspired me again. And Carter took me on this perfect date where I did some work in pastels.” I explain a bit more about the date to her, leaving out the beach sex, though. Obviously.
“I’m impressed,” she tells me. “It seems like Carter has matured a lot since the last time you two dated.”
“Wow,” I say, because that’s high praise coming from my mama.
“Credit where credit is due, Angie. And besides, you deserve someone who is so thoughtful.”
I shrug, as that same feeling of unease from last night rears its head once more.
“What? You don’t think that’s true?”
I can tell my mama is a few moments away from giving me a ten minute long pep talk on what I deserve from a relationship, and while normally I’d welcome it, I don’t actually feel like I need one at the moment. Because Carter has beennothingbut kind and caring and patient with me. No pep talk needed here.
“It’s not that,” I tell her. My mama sits there quietly and waits while I formulate my thoughts. I stare out the kitchen window and try to figure out how to put what I’m feeling into words. “I’m not…I’m not made of glass.”
“Ah,” she says, like that makes any amount of sense. “Is he treating you like you might break at any moment?”
“Sort of. He got a job. One I didn’t even know he’d interviewed for. And that’s not the annoying part, because that all happened before we started dating. But he’s not taking it, solely because it’s in Iceland and would mean leaving me in Harborview.”
“So?” my mama says, reaching across the table and patting my hand. “It sounds like he knows what is important to him and that’s being here with you.”
“And I appreciate that.”
