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Ending the call, I put my feet up and using the pillow that stunk of Joey’s overly expensive aftershave, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
CHAPTER42
AMBER
My sleep had been fretful and full of dreams. All weird and most definitely drug induced. It made me realise why Jimmy thrashed around in his sleep, he was probably battling two headed people and sliding off the edge of the floor on a nightly basis. The clock on the wall said I’d slept for at least two hours, but I didn’t feel rested one bit.
All I wanted to do was be discharged and go back to the hotel. I wanted to be with Ronnie so that we could talk in peace and without me being checked over every half hour. I was petrified that the baby growing inside of me was going to change things in more ways than me becoming a mother, and we needed to have a conversation about it. He and I were so new, and this had not been in our plans at all. Not that we had any plans, other than to get through to the end of the tour without causing any controversy. I guess that had been put paid to.
My hand instinctively went to my stomach and the tiny, tiny little person inside. I wasn’t even sure it was as big as pea yet. I had no clue. I’d always wanted kids one day, but I’d never been someone who read up on it and knew the exact workings of getting pregnant. That would change because I was already planning on buying a load of books. I stroked my still flat stomach, already in love with my baby. I would do anything to protect it and make sure it had every ounce of love it needed. If that meant doing that alone then okay, but I knew Ronnie was a better man than that.
Still contemplating the changes that were about to happen in my life, I was surprised when the door pushed open, and Ali walked in.
“Ali, what are you doing here?” I tried to push myself up in the bed, but my ribs complained, and I flopped back against the pillow. “I thought you were in Abu Dhabi.”
“Oh, Amber, love, what the hell happened?”
As she came further into the room, I could see the red of tiredness in her eyes. There was no sharp business attire, but she was in jersey trousers, a t-shirt and trainers.
“Have you come straight from the airport?”
“Yes, I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She dropped into the chair and took my hand in hers with a weary sigh. “And apart from the obvious,” she pointed at my plaster cast, “are you?”
“I have a headache, concussion, and bruised ribs but miraculously no other injuries.”
She peered at me. “That bruise on your cheek is pretty nasty.”
“Oh,” Surprised at the weight of the cast, I lifted my hand to touch it. “I didn’t know. It must have been when I fell.”
“That wrist is going to incapacitate you for a while.”
“Thank goodness it’s my left one.”
She narrowed her eyes on me. “At least you’ll have Ronnie around to help you.”
My breath stalled as I watched her, intuition telling me that she meant much more than Ronnie being a friend to me.
“I didn’t set out to make a mess of my life,” I finally said. “I wanted to be happy with Jimmy and I really didn’t plan on falling in love with Ronnie.”
“You do love him then?”
There was no point denying it to myself or Ali. “I do, but I haven’t told him that yet.”
She patted my leg. “I won’t spoil it for you and tell him, don’t worry.” She took a deep breath. “What I will say though is this, Ronnie is a very special person. He takes on board everyone else’s emotions and worries, and he has a huge heart. That means that he feels everything twice as much as everyone else. His heart, if broken, won’t just break, it will shatter into millions of tiny shards that will hurt him for a long, long time.”
“I won’t break his heart,” I replied, shaking my head.
“I know you won’t mean to, love. No one ever means to break someone’s heart, unless they’re some sort of psychopath of course. Honestly, I think you’ll be good for him. I think you’ll be good together and for each other, but I just want you to be sure that whatever happens with the Jimmy stuff, you support him too. He won’t always be able to be the strong one, no matter what he says or does.”
Her eyes were a mixture of steel and love, and it was clear why the Warrior Creek boys adored her so much. This woman would fight to the death for them if she had to. This was my warning, even if it was done in a nice way.
“You know,” she continued. “When Cassie and Bobby died, I was just as worried about Ronnie as I was Beau. As well as his own grief, he took on everyone else’s and it’s not even a conscious thing with him. He soaks it all up and it can be crippling for him, yet he never complains or asks for time alone. Quite the opposite.”
“Are you saying he doesn’t love me and is just feeling my pain about Jimmy?” My bottom lip trembled as I thought about her words. If that was the case thenIwould be heartbroken. I could go back to being friends with him if I had to, but now I’d experienced what it was like to be more with him I didn’t want to lose it.
“No, not at all.” Ali shook her head vehemently. “I think he loves you. I see how he is with you. To him you’re already part of his family, like the boys, like Auntie Mo, like me. I just want you to know what it’s like loving Ronnie Dwyer. I just want you to be his rock too.”
I would do whatever I needed to do to be with him. He deserved everything. “He’s not just my saviour, Ali. I truly love him. He’s my best friend. He’s…” Did I tell her everything? “I’m having his baby,” I blurted out, barely having thought about the consequences of telling her. “I’m pregnant.”
