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The time I spent waiting in my hotel room felt like weeks, not a few hours. I must have done three times my required daily steps pacing up and down, waiting for the knock on my door. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do when it came. Let him in? Turn him away? I didn’t have a clue. What I did know was that I loved every moment of the kiss we’d shared. It had been perfect as a proper first kiss. Yet, there was a part of me that thought it had been wrong, but it was the tiniest part.
I knew I was married, and I’d taken vows to honour my marriage, but I couldn’t do it any longer. There wasn’t an ounce of strength left in me to deal with Jimmy and his antics. He’d made sure of that with the way he treated me over the years. He stepped it up since the band had got popular. In fact, my time alone that evening had given me an opportunity to think about the number of times that he’d treated me badly. Apart from the times he’d left me in hotel rooms and bars while he went to a party or for a meal, there were the insults and vile names. Drug taking also featured heavily in our marriage, it fuelled Jimmy’s behaviour. Cocaine and weed only added to what had already been issues, ones that I’d ignored when we got together. I’d thought I could cope with his childish tantrums and selfishness, and I did. What I hadn’t banked on was the women. My own ego made me think that I would be enough. He would love me too much to want to hurt me like that. I wasn’t and never would be, which was why he’d cheated on me with at least seven women that I knew of. I had no doubts that there were many more.
Thatwas why I deserved some happiness.WhyI deserved a man like Ronnie. A man who wasnothingat all Jimmy.
When the knock finally came I almost squealed. Shaking out my hands and feet, I took a few deep breaths to bolster my confidence and tried to walk slowly to the door. Once I reached it, I took another deep breath before opening it.
Ronnie was standing with his head down and his hands deep into his pockets. His hair was damp, and he smelled clean and fresh. His head shot up and long lashes framed the denim blues which blinked rapidly.
“I’m sorry it’s late. There was an accident on the road back to the hotel.”
I stood to one side and let him in. “It’s fine. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
Ronnie pushed past me and as he did, he hesitated. I thought that he was going kiss my cheek again, but he didn’t, he carried on into my room.
“Nice room.”
I grinned because no doubt his was far superior to mine. They usually had the penthouse or a suite, but I knew they each had individual rooms this time.
“It is, thank you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t thank me. Ali organises the rooms and Concepta are paying for yours, so we made sure you got a good one.” He grinned. “I also suggest you get as much room service as possible on this tour, because they’re paying for every single thing and every single room.”
I giggled and led him over to the sofa. “Take a seat.”
He did, pulling the cushion from behind him and putting it next to him, between us. That stung a little bit, but I hoped that he was trying to be respectful and not creating a barrier.
“He didn’t come back, did he?”
“No. I didn’t see anyone until Destiny came for me to come back to the hotel.”
The silence which fell seemed strange. Not comfortable at all, and I was searching for something to say. I knew what weshouldtalk about but didn’t know whether it was the right thing to do. There would be no way to move forward, though, if we didn’t.
“Ronnie, about earlier.”
“We don’t have to. It’s fine.”
I grabbed the cushion that he’d thrown to one side and hugged it to my chest. “I think we do.”
Ronnie grimaced and scrubbed a hand over his face and my heart sank.
“I’m sorry, I thought. God, I’m so stupid.”
His expression changed to a shocked, wide-eyed one. “No, no. You’ve misunderstood me. I just didn’t want you to think youhadto talk about it. I didn’t think you’d want to.”
“I do. I want us to talk about what happens next. Find out what we both want.”
Ronnie sat up straight and moved position to sit face to face with me. “I think you know what I want. I don’t want to rush you into anything, though. I know life hasn’t been great with Jimmy but it’s still a big decision to make.”
It was but I knew what I wanted. “I want to do this, but can we take it slow?”
The breath left his body in a fast shudder as he reached for my hands and enveloped them in his own. “We can go at whatever speed you like.”
The relief he felt was palpable and the heat from his smile was immense. It filled me with hope.
“Do you think maybe I could kiss you again?” He closed his eyes and groaned. “Shit, I sound like a thirteen-year-old boy.”
“No, you don’t, but the answer is yes.”
