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This time, there’s the faint hint of a smile. “I love you, too.”
“Yeah, but I’m distinctly loveable.” His mouth quirks again and I raise a warning finger. “Mention my ex-wife right now and I’ll fucking hurt you.”
“That’s what she said.”
I burst out laughing, the tension draining from my bones. “That doesn’t even make sense, you dick.”
He drums his fingers on the table, then stands, an entree to dismissal. “Call me if you need anything.”
I have my hand on the door when I turn back and give him a brief shoulder hug in a rush of genuine affection. “You, too.”
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
PAISLEY
Once I’m backin my room, I play dress-up for an hour. I came away with far, far less than the shop assistant wanted to sell me, but far, far more than I’m completely comfortable with.
The shoes were the one thing where I shamelessly took advantage. It’s always been such a struggle to get anything in my size that are designed for adults, I went a bit crazy. Given the limited storage space available in my room, it’s now officially half full of shoe boxes.
When I’m in the shower, doing my hair this time so I can blow-dry it all fancy, I feel that ache between my legs again. This time, the sensation triggers a few random flashes. Wanting to wrap my arms around Conner but being unable to move. The feel of his mouth on my breast, the stubble scraping against my tender skin and leaving a rosy glow.
I stop, the water pouring over my head, frowning at the shower floor. They’re like the memories from our first night, ethereal, fleeting, born in on a wave of warmth and carelessness.
And now they’re here, I can’t stop them coming. Being face down, my cunt stuffed full of his fat cock, the girth enough to create an ecstatic drag against my walls. Of having my body moved, arranged, of waking with his arms around me, his cock nesting deep inside.
The water runs colder, and I turn it off, stepping out and staring at myself in the steam-cloudy mirror. “He drugged you,” I say, testing the words out, seeing how they sit with my recollections.
Then again, firmer, stronger. “Conner drugged you.”
I wait for something else to follow. Shame. Fear. The awful emptiness of being used.
But all I see is the subtle tint of happiness. The rosiness of my cheeks. The relief of not being in his debt. Of us being equal.
I wish he’d asked me for my help the way I asked him for his, but I can’t make myself mind him taking what he needed from me. I sensed that capacity within him right from the start. To take what he wants when he wants it.
Even without him asking permission, it feels less like stealing and more like I gave him a gift. One he couldn’t get anywhere else. My awkwardness over the dress and the shoes disappears.
My head bubbles along in a cloud of happy endorphins while I finish getting ready. It stays that way until I leave my room to go meet Marnie.
Her dress is in the garment bag and I’m wearing the crimson one Conner selected. The idea of seeing James makes my lungs shrink, but at least it’s with the payment he demanded. I can’t imagine my misery right now if I couldn’t give him what he wants.
Marnie doesn’t answer on the first tap, and I dig out my phone, air hissing over my teeth as I see the low battery symbol.
“Sorry I’m late,” Marnie calls from along the corridor, walking arm in arm with James and smiling like she won the grand prize at the fair. “Fuck me, you look fantastic.”
I pinch at the fabric, far too exposed as James rakes his gaze over me. “Here,” I say, shoving the garment bag at her. “I know you said it was okay, but I felt guilty about not returning your dress.”
She stares at me in confusion, then takes the offering, unzipping just enough to see the flash of gold. Her brow knits even further together, clearly unaware of what’s going on.
“Oh, good,” James says, pulling Marnie back against him and resting his chin on her shoulder. “Saves me having to buy you a replacement, babe. You can wear it out tonight.”
“I have another outfit to wear,” she says, shaking her head at me, still openly puzzled. “You didn’t have to do this,” she adds in a quieter voice, one just for me though I’m sure James is listening.
A problem that sorts itself when he gives her a pat on her butt before walking away. “Whatever you want, babe,” he tosses over his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll look fantastic.”
Marnie opens her door wide to let me pass in front of her, then pulls it closed. “What’s going on?” she immediately asks. “You know I didn’t want this dress replaced.”
“I…” My throat clicks, no other words appearing to fill the gap. James has stitched me up both ways. I can’t tell her the truth, he’ll carry through on his threat, but anything else I offer sounds fake.
