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Her hand slides between my belt and my skin, clumsy fingers unable to reach what she needs.
Then she falls fast asleep.
She doesn’t stir as I pull her into my arms, as I lift her to walk along the corridor, as I deposit her on the bed, as I peel the clothing from her body.
Her brain may be disconnected, unable to score me against any past lovers, but her body gives me all the green lights I need. Her arousal is obvious as I remove the layers of clothing, her nipples hardening under my pinching fingers, her throat emitting a series of encouraging moans, her tight cunt wet for me.
Finally, I lay her in the centre of the bed, arms above her head, running my hands along her entire length, unable to get enough of her pliable beauty, tasting every inch of her, licking and sucking until there isn’t a part of her that my tongue isn’t intimately acquainted with.
Finally, I can’t hold back any longer. I spread her legs, spread her pussy wide for me. As I thrust into her, steadying her breasts with my palm so they don’t jiggle so wildly, it’s a better release than last time.
I turn us onto our sides, lifting her topmost leg almost to her head to leave her wide open, to enable the stunning view of my cock plunging into her unresisting body, spilling into her as I come and feeling the twitch of her muscles as she clenches around me.
A reaction to my entry or an unconscious orgasm, I don’t know.
I rest, leaving my softening cock inside her, dozing then waking to find it hardening again.
The second time is slower, luxurious. Midway through, I turn her, laying her face downwards, then tugging her back up so it looks like she’s on her knees, though I’m supporting most of her weight.
Much as I could gaze at her face forever, watching the upturned heart of her arse is another revelation. I can’t resist a slap, watching her cheek turn the same red as her face when she’s blushing.
I pull her back harder and harder against me until our bodies clap together, the sound driving me into another orgasm, so hard that I collapse on top of her, rolling to the side so her face isn’t buried in the covers.
Then I cross my arms over her chest and pull her close against me, again leaving my cock swaddled in her warm wet heat.
“Good girl,” I whisper as she stirs, coming close to consciousness before diving deep back into her dreams again. “You’re my good girl.”
I’ll need to clean her, bathe her, tidy her up so she doesn’t wake with my cum spilling out of her and a load of unanswered questions. I’ll clean her and pour her into one of my t-shirts and lay her on the sofa, ready to wake in the morning, feeling refreshed.
But there are hours left until she emerges from the grip of the medication. For the moment, I rest inside her, one palm cupping her breast, the other lying flat across her stomach.
“You’re my sweet little angel,” I murmur against her back, my heart filled to bursting with love for her. My body is satiated, my thoughts float in and out of my head, not sticking, not hooking out memories I’d rather leave undisturbed.
This is a precious gift, and my emotions swell with gratitude.
As I sink into a doze, I wonder what images are moving through her head, painting the curve of a smile on her face as she sleeps.
* * *
I driftin and out of consciousness, filled with the same contentment I remember from our first night. My limbs are so heavy that by the time they move, what I want to touch has shifted, and I must start again.
A bubble of joy erupts in my chest, carried into the outside world on a dreamy giggle. Conner is against me, skin against skin, the touch welcome and wonderful.
I lose sizeable chunks of time, trying to hold on to consciousness and exult in everything that’s happening to me, but it slips through my fingers like sand, just leaving tiny granules clinging.
Nothing is my fault. None of this is my responsibility.
The freedom unleashes a torrent of gratitude in my mind, clearing the stiffest, highest hurdle I have in place, leaving in its place all the pleasure and none of the shame.
When Conner clasps me against him, his cock still inside, pulsing, waiting to grow again and fill me completely, there’s such a sense of peace I want to weep. I try to cement the well of emotion into my memory, fuse it into place ahead of all the trash it persists in holding onto, but it’s too intangible, flowing through me and away, my feeble efforts akin to catching water with a net.
He whispers pet names that soothe the pain of the slurs I carry with me until finally I plunge too deep to rise to the surface again.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
PAISLEY
When I wake,I roll onto my back, blinking up at the strange ceiling, feeling a deep sense of peace. My jaw cracks wide open in an enormous yawn and I rub my eyes, my slow blinks becoming longer as the siren song of sleep makes a renewed pitch.
