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Chapter 43
Crawl to me, Zenya…
ZENYA
“Lithium” by Evanescence
“The End of a Dream” by Evanescence
“Take Me Back to Eden” by Sleep Token
“Fall For Me” by Sleep Token
I’ve lost my footing so many times.
Wandering around the forest with the blindfold practically seared to my eyes, stumbling over tree roots, falling too much to count, I can’t fathom what Nyxion means.
When I try to remove the blindfold, only for it not to budge, I punch the ground and dig my nails into the mud and roots around me. I know I can’t hope to root for him until I lose my footing. Whatever that means.
Does he want me to lose my footing to him? Should I turn back? Fall for him like before? No, that doesn’t feel right. Not like Nyxion to strike lightning in the same place twice.
I try to tear the blindfold off again, but it doesn’t give.
Panic overthrows me until I start to slip inside the fog of my mind…finding Eclipse in the blanket fort but one more alter. Shereminds me of a doll, a porcelain gothic doll dressed in a black Victorian steam-punk gown with long black ripples of hair that sweep to her feet. Eclipse is shorter than me, but this alter is even shorter. I don’t know who she is…or what, but I fold my hands in front of me and approach, intrigued.
“Zenya, this is Mags, and I called for her wisdom and insight.”Eclipse rolls her lips, toying with her piercing and tapping her side rhythmically.
“Are you okay?”I ask her, concerned.
She narrows her eyes.“I am…coping. I know you want this. I’ve had to hold myself back and some of the others, but you have such a new strength in you, I know you can do this.”
I sigh, my gaze flicking to Mags.“Sure doesn’t feel like it right now. Can you help me?”
Mags twirls her parasol with sharp gray eyes narrowing on me, her lips firming.“Your suspicions of this being like that first night you broke the mask for Nyxion and fell for him are correct. But…”She sweeps her gaze to my bare feet, locking onto them.“You must lose something precious—to gain something better.”
Oh, god. All the blood drains from my face.
Nyxion said to trust him. And he will set me on solid ground.
“And root for me?”I wonder, looking up, heart in my throat.
Mags rolls her eyes with a huff, eyeing Eclipse from the side.“Does she really need me to?—”
Eclipse shakes her head and deepens her gaze on me.“No. She doesn’t. She can remember. Time to go back, Zenya.”
No sooner does she speak the words than I plunge into utter darkness as I feel the ground beneath my feet. My feet. Tears stream down my face as I consider what I must do. It’s a new breaking. It’s a losing.
Sucking in a deep breath, I weave the sharpest blade I can think of. And touch the edge of my left ankle. My blood thrashes in my ears. My heart slams against my chest.
Trust him. Trust Nyxion. I pushed the bone needles from my body. I broke the mask.
I raise the blade.
Trust.
I bring it down.
Lose my?—
