AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah. You’re twenty-five. Are you ready to be a mom to an eight-year-old?”
I’d spent a lot of time thinking about that since I’d left Adrian’s yesterday. He’d kept me with him up until the moment he’d gotten a call from Grace to let him know that they were on their way, and even then, he hadn’twantedme to leave. But we’d agreed it was the right thing to do so we wouldn’t confuse Lucas.
But it was still a heavy topic, one that I didn’t take lightly even though Adrian had insisted we’d figure it out. I had enough of my own issues from growing up in a family that wasn’t happy, and I didn’t want to inflict any unintentional trauma on the kid by taking on responsibilities I wasn’t certain about.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I sighed. “And I know that’s a make or break for him. I love Lucas, he’s great, but the fear of ruining his childhood by just being in proximity and doing the wrong thing at the wrong time is…terrifying. It’s not like I don’t want to be a mom at all, but I never expected to have to make that choice just because of someone I wanted to be with.”
“Do you feel like you’re ready to have a kid at all?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. When is anyone reallyready, you know? My mom had me when she was seventeen, she wasn’tready, but she and my dad figured it out until they stopped working well together. And I’m…”
“Insane?” Em laughed.
“A little,” I chuckled. “But I mean I’m not terrified of being a mother. I’m terrified of filling someone else’s shoes.”
“Do you think he’d be okay with you not filling that role immediately?” She sipped at her tea, and her lack of a wince from the heat of it made me irrationally jealous. “Like, do you think you guys could take it slow for a while, and once you feel certain, he could bring you in?”
I shook my head. “That’s not what he’s looking for. You know that. He wants someone who can help him raise Lucas.”
“Yeah, but he also wants someone he doesn’t have to love.”
Fuck. I knew it would come up —she’d helped me with his file, had done the initial interview. She knew this. “I think…I think he’s changed his mind about that.”
“For you?”
“Yeah. For me.”
————
Why I’d agreed to Adrian’s somewhat last-minute invitation to come over for dinner with him and Lucas was beyond me. He’d be insane to try to broach the topic with his son about me this early, and I’d made entirely sure that wasn’t his plan before I’d said yes. But even over text message three hours before he wanted me to arrive, he seemed overly carefree about the situation.
I could handle tiptoeing around Lucas. We’d basically done that already back in the Hamptons, but we also hadn’t acted on our instincts fully then—the temptation had been overwhelming, sure, but it wasn’t as easy to slip up as it could be with this. I just had to make it long enough for Lucas to go to bed.
The moment I typed the code that gave me access to his floor into the elevator, my phone chimed in my bag.
Adrian: I’m so sorry. I need to stay a little later at work. Damage control.
Adrian: I’ll be out as soon as I can, but I understand if you want to cancel.
I stared down at my phone as the elevator rose rapidly. Ten seconds in, my ears popped, and I wondered if I was passing his office at lightspeed on the way up to his penthouse.
Me: I’m in the elevator. Do you want me to go?
His reply was almost immediate.
Adrian: Fuck no, I don’t want you to go. Stay. I want to see you. I was just trying to be polite.
Adrian: Lucas and Grace are up there. If you’re okay to wait around with them, I’ll try to be as quick as I can.
The elevator slowed, stopped, and dinged on the sixtieth floor. The doors opened up to the private foyer, the same one I’d knelt on days ago, and it took everything in me to shove those memories down as I stepped out of the metal cube.
Me: I want to see you too. I’ll wait. :)
Heavy footsteps grew louder and louder on the other side of the door.
“DADDY?”
Shit. I have to be the one to tell him?
