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I nod to his promise.
He is like a warm cocoon, shielding me from the monsters and darkness of the world. The heavy weight of doom has lifted a little, leaving me feeling lighter.
I reach up and cup his face in my hands for one last time before sleep claims me. I hope this guilt in his eyes is real and my friend is back.
Come home, Svenn.
Chapter 18 Svenn
I’ve been sleepwalking through my entire existence until the day I met you.
You breathe life back into my soul.
I feel new when I’m with you. Different. Reborn.
Thank you for waking me up from thousands of years of nightmares.
Instead of these beautiful words I’ve been weaving these past weeks, the gods have damned my mouth to admit all the ways I want to ravage her.
I need to shoot myself in the head with a crossbow for the things I confessed to her in my trance.
Rhianelle is peacefully asleep in my lap with her head pressed against my chest. I can feel her gentle breaths tickling my skin.
The girl had the most horrible day today and yet she still manages to look like a sleeping angel by the end of it. She is ridiculously beautiful and so fucking lovely, the stuff of bright daydreams. No matter how I try to emulate her perfection in paintings or sculptures, I can’t seem to get it right.
I brush a knuckle over her soft cheek. Nel murmurs some things and nuzzles closer to me. Something about her seeking me in her sleep triggers an overwhelming protectiveness in me.
This good girl belongs to me.
Mine to cherish. Mine to keep. Mine to protect.
Even from fucking… gingerbread man.
I don’t take her fear lightly. I’ve seen her stand her ground against a gigantic opponent, jumped into the raging ocean without a second thought. Little fawn is brave. So, when she is truly well terrified of something, I believe her.
My cock hardens at the thought of her naked beneath this thin piece of covering. It quickly shifts into worry that she is not having enough insulation from the cold. I should have changed the fucking bedsheet and brought a bunch of clothes before bringing her to this godforsaken place. Such a domesticated thought would never occur to me before.
The things I do for my little fawn…
‘My Svenn.’
Rhianelle called me that earlier.
I feel the surging need to tell Bas about it over a drink. I think I finally understand why he would ponder on Gwyn’s words for days, analyzing and dissecting each of her actions. Han and I used to think he was losing his damn mind. But I get it now. Rhianelle has driven me to a similar point of insanity.
Her Svenn…
I can hardly fathom how something as pure and innocent as her would ever call me hers—
A violent crash sunders in my head, interrupting my musings. I release a heavy breath into the stale air. It seems like I have little choice but to visit him.
I close my eyes to enter into the deepest chasm of my mind. It’s peculiar the way our consciousness creates familiarity with the things we do not understand. The innermost part of myselfis a dark and cold place, confined by black walls and charred stones derived from Hel itself.
A prison.
There is no joy or warmth in this hopeless void. Voices echo in the dark chamber, those of hatred and hunger. Every beast and demon roaming within me has gathered in one place—aroundhim.
I do not wish to be here any longer than I must. The quicker I do this, the faster I can leave. I force myself to take a step forward to answer their summon.
