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“Do you want me to hit you? If I hit you hard enough in the head, maybe I can erase the memories of her. With the right kind of concussion, it’ll be like you never met her.”
Wow. The big dummy is actually making sense for once. I must be close to blackout drunk.
“It’s tempting,” I admit to him. “But no thanks. I want to keep my memories of her even if they’re painful.”
Some short-term amnesia might be nice though. If I could forget the days since Eli showed up in town that could definitely make me feel better.
No, that’s not entirely true.
Even if I could take back the things I did with Eli, I wouldn’t. Being with him was fucked up and wild as shit, but it was fun. More than fun. It was everything I didn’t know I had been missing. I just wish I hadn’t hurt Maddie in the process of figuring things out.
She was right to be angry at me for cheating on her with him. The fact that I thought he was going to kill me after he fucked with me doesn’t excuse the betrayal.
Except, Maddie fucked around with Eli too, as if she was unable to resist him as well.
What is it about that crazy bastard that drew both of us to him?
And now that Eli and Maddie are back in Vegas together again, are they hooking up? Is she sleeping in his bed at night? Is he fucking her whenever her father isn’t looking?
I hate them both.
Well, not really.
I’m jealous. I hate that they’re not here with me and that Maddie’s note made it clear she doesn’t want me to come to Vegas.
Unless…she only just said the shit about not coming, not starting a war over her because she doesn’t want me to get hurt.
“Maybe I should go to Vegas,” I say to Hank, as if he could ever be the voice of reason.
“Vegas? Sounds fun. They have whore houses in nearby towns, you know. I bet those bitches would do anything for a few hundred dollars.”
Poor Hank missed out on the trip for Greer’s wedding. Big guy was too afraid to fly. It’s hilarious that the giant has any vulnerabilities since he’s built like a Greek titan.
“Vegas is where Maddie lives,” I explain to him.
“Oh. Has she ever been to a whore house?” he asks.
“I seriously doubt it, big guy. Anyway, RJ would give me some time off at the shop, and I have a little savings I could use for the plane ticket. But what if I show up there and her father kills me? Is she worth dying for? Of course she is, if she actually gives a shit about me.”
“What if you show up there and her fatherdoesn’tkill you?” Hank offers.
I nod my head in agreement, getting with what he’s saying. “My mom would kill me for going to Vegas, chasing after the woman who lied to me for fifteen months and recently cheated on me.”
“Nah. Josie just wants you to be happy. She wouldn’t kill you for chasing happiness.”
“I don’t literally mean that my mom would murder me.” Unlike Eli’s mother who tried to drown him, then buried him, I can’t help but remember. Somebody needs to love that crazy fucker enough to try and make up for him having to survive a shitty childhood. “I just meant that my mom wouldn’t approve. She would tell me not to waste my time or my money on a plane ticket for a girl who lied to me from the second I met her.”
God, I wish I could remember more from the night Maddie and I met.
It’s not like she drugged me into forgetting or anything. That was my fault for drinking too damn much. Drinking because I was considering trying to hook up with a guy from a gay dating app while the rest of the Savage Kings were busy celebrating Greer’s wedding, and we were in a city where none of the gay guys would know who I am.
I was getting drunk to gather the courage to go through with it when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen sat down at the bar beside me wearing a baseball cap. It felt like some sort of gift from fate at the time, a sign that I shouldn’t hook up with a random man when I could be talking to the stunning woman who was interested in me.
But she was only interested in me because I had access to a private plane leaving Vegas early the next morning. That’s why she came back to my hotel room with me.
I was her escape ticket for a new life.
She was so desperate to leave Vegas she hopped on a plane with a complete stranger, and I just sent her back to that hellhole because I was jealous and afraid to be honest about my sexuality.
