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“It’s not like my father pays the man to do his dirty work. He owns him for a past offense against my father. Daddy didn’t kill him because he wanted to make an example out of him, punish him for years rather than take his life in a single moment. I understand how much he hates my father. I just wish he hadn’t used me as part of his sick sort of revenge. I left after it happened because I wanted to be free too, and I didn’t want to be the reason my father killed him. I guess I felt sorry for him and didn’t want him to end his life that way.”
“It sounds like you maybe…care for him.”
“How could anyone care for a monster who scoops out men’s eyeballs before he kills them?”
“Maybe because he wasn’t a monster to you. Or, if he was, it was the good kind of monster?”
I cover my face with my palm as my skin warms in embarrassment. “Jordan is so sweet and gentle with me. That’s what I should want. That’sallI should want. He doesn’t know...I never told him who was my first.”
“Maybe you should. Being honest with the people you love isn’t always easy, but it’s the only way for you to truly be happy. And free.”
Lifting my head from my arms, I admit to her, “If I’m completely honest with Jordan, I think I would lose him.”
“That’s always a concern,” Celeste agrees. “But if you keep lying, the lies will eventually suck all the happiness from your life.”
Nodding, I tell her, “Everything is going to hell anyway. Tonight, I’ll tell Jordan everything. The worst that can happen is he’ll tell me to leave, to get out of town without him. And if that keeps him safe then I’ll be glad for it, even if it means I’ll never see him again.”
“Good luck,” she says with a small smile before refilling our glasses as if we haven’t chugged half the bottle.
“Thanks for the talk and the shots,” I tell her as I salute her and pour the liquid down my throat. The fact that it no longer burns should concern me.
“Anytime. That’s what friends are for.”
“So, you’re not just plying me with alcohol to try to get me to spill my guts to you so Greer can tell the Kings?”
“No way. Greer doesn’t need to know about anything you tell me. It’s not like I want him or the Kings out there in the streets searching for a psycho killer who cuts out eyes and tongues. I say they should let the sheriff’s office handle this one. Or you.”
“Me?” I ask with a puff of laughter.
“You may not think you can handle it, your father, but you can. You’re a grown woman, Maddie, even if he still thinks of you as his baby girl. Maybe it’s time to show him that you are your own person, that you’ve built a life for yourself here, and that you don’t want him to mess it up.”
I laugh at the thought of standing up to my father, the mafia king. The man has a temper like none other. I think that was another reason why I fell for Jordan so fast. He didn’t get angry or yell at me for every little thing. He let me go wherever I wanted, do what I wanted.
And while I know Jordan is protective of me, he’ll always give me space if I ask for it without putting up a fight or breathing over my shoulder. He’s a good, gentle man who would never do anything to hurt me.
So why does a small part of me wish Jordan would occasionally be a little bit…bad?
7
Jordan
“Thane and I are going to Greer’s,” RJ says late that night after the three of us spent hours catching up on two days’ worth of work thanks to the murders. It’s just one more reason why I want to punch the murderer in the face. Not only am I working late, but I’m also fighting with Maddie for the first time ever, which I fucking hate.
“You coming?” Thane asks me.
“Yeah, as soon as I finish sweeping up.”
“We can wait,” RJ says.
But he looks as tired as I feel so I tell him, “No, I’ll be right behind you. I’ll lock up and meet you at the bar in five minutes.”
“If you’re sure?” RJ asks.
“Go. Order me a cold one,” I tell him.
The two men finally concede with a nod. A moment later, the door that recently had a tongue attached to it jingles as they head out. The sounds of their motorcycles fade as their taillights disappear down the road just before I lower the final garage doordown. I’ve just grabbed the broom when the front door jingles again.
Fuck.
