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Goddammit.
Fuck.
That fucking golden goose of mine is a dead man.
The look in her eyes, the betrayal, has my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. “Clara, love, I can explain.”
She looks at me expectantly. “Please do.”
She’s too calm. Fuck. In a rush, I explain, “Alex caught us kissing, and I lied. I did. I told him it was a mistake and that we’d both realized it.”
“Why, though? If he caught us…oh well.”
“Because, obviously, he doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. He’s a pain in my ass and loves to get under my skin,” I stress, my heart beating so hard, my vision is fuzzy. “I didn’t want it getting out or him teasing me in front of everyone. I didn’t realize he’d tell Elliot, though. I’m sorry.”
She lets out a breath, brushing her hair off her shoulders. “I mean, I understand that you didn’t want him to know, but why say that it was a drunken mistake? That I mean nothing to you? You could have just ignored him.”
“You’re right, but I had to nip it in the bud. I didn’t mean anything I said.”
Her navy eyes burn with anger as she narrows them. “But didn’t you realize that saying that to him would get around to my family? You said it to my sister’s baby daddy, the sister who has a tendency for violence and holds a hell of a grudge. I don’t understand why you had to say those things.”
“I was drunk.”
“Sure, but a drunk mind speaks the truth,” she throws back at me, her eyes filling with tears.
“The fuck it does. I was trying to cover for us, and I failed badly,” I plead, but when I try to grab for her, she moves out of my reach. “Clara, don’t do that.”
“Don’t stand there and act like you can touch me when you said I don’t matter.”
“I never said you don’t matter. I said it was nothing because Alex was playing the big brother, and I had to say something to get him off my tail.” Her eyes narrow to slits. “I didn’t mean any of it. You know how I feel about you.”
She shrugs. “I know, but when you had the opportunity to say that, you said the opposite.”
“Because Alex is a gobshite and runs his mouth. Clara, I was trying to protect us, to keep things good for this wedding, like you wanted,” I practically yell, and she glares.
“Don’t yell at me,” she demands, her eyes dark but full of so much hurt. It’s killing me.
I blow out a breath. “You’re not hearing me. I didn’t mean it.”
“But now that Alex told Elliot, she’ll tell everyone else, or she’ll hit you at the wedding. She’s crazy and hormonal.”
“I can handle Elliot. And baby, I’ll go to Dan right now and scream my love for you. Do you want me to call Alex, set him right?”
She looks away, slowly shaking her head. “I just don’t know why you had to say that. You could have gone about it so differently. Calling me nothing, a mistake… I mean, fuck, Riggs, that’s really shitty.”
When I see the tears gather in her eyes, I reach for her again, and I don’t allow her to pull away. I wrap my arm around her, holding her to my body as I press my lips to her temple. “I knew when I said it, I’d fucked up. I’m so sorry.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was out drinking, and you were with the girls.”
“Still, you could have told me when it happened so I could have gotten to Elliot first.”
“I’m sorry. I fucked up.”
A small sob moves through her body, and I hold her tighter. My soul feels like it’s shattering into a billion pieces as I hold her close. I kiss her temple and close my eyes, emotion suffocating me. “Please tell me how to fix this. I’ll do anything. I’ll go to Dan. I’ll go to each of your sisters. Hell, I’ll go kick Alex’s arse and let Elliot kick mine. Tell me, Clara. Please.” She slowly shakes her head and pulls out of my arms. I try to tug her back, but she moves away toward the closet. “Clara.”
“No, Riggs. I need some time.”
