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She doesn’t seem convinced, and seeing the pain so visibly on her face has me worrying about Elliot. Her son will be here soon, and I won’t be there with her when they ultimately leave the team. I think my heart can’t ache anymore until I direct my attention back to Riggs. He’s laughing with Jessie, making the little boy grin, and I see awe in Riggs’s eyes.
He would be a great dad.
I swallow past the lump in my throat, and I don’t really hear anything else. My heart is in my ears, pounding hard, and I feellike I’m on autopilot. With no real emotion, I wave at Jelanie and Jessie and then Peepaw when they head inside. I don’t even worry about Peepaw suspecting us. My mind won’t allow me.
It isn’t until we’re alone that I actually meet Riggs’s gaze. He pulls in his brows as he hooks the leashes to the boys’ collars. “You okay, my love?”
His words warm my soul. I bite hard into the inside of my lip as I nod. “Yeah. Wanna take them for a walk?”
“That sounds lovely. We can head over to that ice cream shop you like.”
I can only nod as I take Gordie’s and Gretzky’s leashes since Riggs is trying to leash-train Darcy. He listens better to Riggs. Apparently, I’m too soft. Which I probably am because I’m two seconds from bursting into tears, and that would be a bad idea. I don’t want to stress Riggs out or put a damper on our little outing. So, I swallow past my emotions and walk beside him as we head out of the Bears compound. It isn’t until we’re on the sidewalk that leads to the center of town that Riggs asks, “Did you eat lunch?”
I don’t look at him as I answer. “Yeah, I had leftovers from dinner last night.”
We had an awesome feast of fried chicken and sweet potatoes last night. I had helped him make some kind of caramel butter, and it was downright amazing. He reaches out, squeezing my wrist. “That’s my good girl.”
Heat floods between my legs, but I ignore it. “Not really. I used all the caramel butter and maybe licked the carton.”
He chuckles, the sound damn sexy. “Still my good girl whom I’ll make more for.”
I can’t help but smile. “Promise?”
“For you, yes.”
I swallow thickly as my emotions run rampant inside me. I love this man, and I’m pretty sure he’s in love with me. He has to be. You don’t call someone your love unless you love them.
Right?
“Wanna know a secret?”
His question pulls me from my thoughts, and I glance over at him. In the sun, his eyes look more caramel than dark chocolate. His shoulders are back, his beard a little wild today. It makes me think he’s been yanking at it all morning during practice, something he tends to do. A little smirk is playing on his lips, and I can’t help but smile back. “I love secrets.”
Now, he’s grinning. “I can’t wait till I can introduce you as mine instead of Dan Davenport’s granddaughter or my dog sitter.”
My heart sings, but then it’s ruined by my stomach clenching. “I’m ready for that,” I admit. “I’m ready to hold your hand in public.”
He grimaces, but then heat fills his gaze. “I want to hold you in public, kiss you so that everyone knows who you belong to.”
Before I get too carried away by his words, I say, “Jessie is cute.”
I don’t miss the way Riggs’s brows furrow at my abrupt topic change. “Yeah, he’s a good lad. Loves dogs.”
I swallow past the lump that is growing bigger by the second. “You looked really hot with him.”
He chuckles. “I hope that wasn’t in a weird way.”
I snicker, shaking my head. “No. I mean you look good with kids. Like you’d be a good dad.” He shrugs at that, but I don’t miss the way his jaw tightens. “Did you and Peppa not want kids?”
He doesn’t answer right away, and I feel my body tingling as I wait for the answer. Finally, he says, “I didn’t trust her.”
I angle my head. “What do you mean?”
“She wasn’t mom material, and I had just lost my parents, who were the best parents in the world. I didn’t see her as the type of mom my mom was, so I was scared to have kids with her. She wanted to, right away, but I wasn’t ready. She would get so mad that I continued to use condoms with her, but I couldn’t chance it. I think I always knew that things wouldn’t work out between us.” Tears burn behind my eyes, and I feel his gaze on me. When his fingers circle my wrist, I glance down at them before looking up into his welcoming chocolate depths. He looks at me like I could be the mom he always wanted for his kids, and my heart continues to shatter. He licks his lips as he strokes his thumb along the back of my hand. “Not to jump the gun or scare you, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
